Code HISBI! (Help, I'm Surrounded By Idiots!)
by TinyHippo
Summary: Another Akatsuki Kitten Story. Don't mind me, just jumping on the bandwagon. We were... a group. A gang. An organization, if you will. We had no official name, less of us to track that way, but we called ourselves the Lost Souls. A rag-tag group of bounty hunters, that's what we were. And then a box of kittens fell into our laps. T for Hidan, & maybe a few pairings in the future.
1. Chapter 1: A Box Full of Cats

**Welcome to my fanfiction! I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto won't give it to me, no matter how much canned ham and butter I send him. Please inform me of any spelling/grammar errors that I might have overlooked! Flames welcome! I don't care if it's a particularly mean one, just review! And I mean, like, _actually _review, as in, not a "good so far lol updat soon", 'cause those tend to annoy me. Thank you for clicking on this thing, and let the story commence!**

**Chapter One:**

**A Box Full of Cats**

**Third Person/Cats' P.O.V.**

"What the heck, hm?" a blond cat hissed, its tail swishing in displeasure. "Why am I a freaking _cat?_"

"Tobi is a kitty, senpai!" an orange faced kitten bounced happily around the first cat before plowing into him.

"Go away, un!" the fur rose on the back of his neck.

"Brat, watch your tail. You just smacked my face," growled a red cat.

"Sorry, Danna," the blond cat said sheepishly.

It was a sight to behold. A silver cat was using a wide and colorful variety of curses, and a half white, half black kitten was smashing his head into the ground, muttering to himself about how he couldn't phase through the wall. A blue kitten was searching for... a sword, apparently, and a brown kitten with rather Christmas-y eyes was staring, amused, at the chaos before him. The only calm ones were sitting in the corner, still getting used to their current feline prisons.

"Everybody, calm down," a steely voiced, orange kitten hissed. The ruckus ceased immediately. "I believe we are all aware of our current predicament. Itachi, report,"

Said kitten nodded his head. "Leader-sama. I do not sense any chakra around us, yet earlier I had heard voices, leading me to think we are in either uncharted territory or..." the Uchiha paused for dramatic effect. Get to the point, dammit! "another world," he finished.

The leader nodded, then looked to the black and white cat. "Zetsu?"

"It appears, since there is no chakra, we cannot conduct any jutsu **or go through walls**." he... they... agh, screw it, _he _said.

The leader lifted his head bit to ensure he had everybody's attention. "Now, it looks like our first priority is food and water. We are fairly weak in this state, so we have to find a way out of this box." Some of them who had just woken up recently finally took notice of their surroundings.

"It's too f*cking tall to jump," growled the silver cat.

"I noticed, Hidan. I think we should all throw ourselves at that wall over there. The momentum should be enough to topple the box over," a lavender cat looked to the leader for affirmation, and he nodded.

"Good thinking, Konan. Now, on three. One... two..." the cats readied themselves. Then-

_BOOM!_

The cardboard box was violently thrown on it's side, rolling a bit until the flaps were opened and the discombobulated cats stumbled a few steps.

"Haha! Woohoo! Heck yeah, that was _awesome!_" a voice whooped.

**(Pyro) Blare's P.O.V.**

The squirt and I cheered as we stared at the havoc we had wreaked. Fire billowed out of the storage house's windows. Walls lay crumbled in heaps. Ash and dust motes flew around us in a frenzy. It was beautiful. I brushed some of my red bangs out of my face, grinning proudly at my handy work.

"Wow! That was really cool, Blare!" Squirt cheered.

"Wasn't it?" I beamed at her. She nodded energetically.

"It was like, FWOOSH! And you were like, BAM! And then it exploded!" she retold the recent events in a way that only a eight year old like her could do.

I ruffled her ginger pigtails. "And soon you'll be making bombs like that!" I laughed. Then I heard something. "Hold a sec, squirt, do ya hear _meowing?_" I asked, incredulous. She listened, too, and soon enough she nodded.

"Yeah, it's over there," she pointed.

I walked over to where she had pointed, her small hand clutching mine. I noticed a cardboard box on its side, few cats stumbling out. "What're you fella's doing out here?" I asked, scooping two of them up. There were ten of them, all multi-colored and with weird eyes. It was pretty unnatural. I saw one that resembled a shark. Yup, definitely unnatural.

"Aww! They're so cute!" cooed the squirt as she lifted up a silver one with pink eyes. It hissed at her and swiped, but its hisses soon turned into a startled yelp of fear. In her moment of panic, Squirt had thrown him into the air, a good head over me. It flailed around rapidly before latching onto my shoulder, scratching me up a bit. "Sorry, kitty!" she quickly apologized. I laughed.

"Blare, can we take them home? Pleeeaaaase?" she begged.

I considered it for a minute before deciding. "Alright, Angel. Let's get these guys back to base," I said before turning the box upright again and shoving the kittens who had meandered out back in with the others. "But, you're gonna be the one to answer if Leader asks," I said, giving her a serious look.

"Okay!" she beamed at me. It was beginning to rain, so I quickly picked up the box and started jogging away from the crime scene. Angel (AKA the Squirt) kept up fairly well for a kid.

We were only a couple blocks away from the explosion when we heard sirens. "Crap, the cops are early today," I cursed under my breath before shifting the box so it was under my arm, only being supported by one hand. I then took Angel's shoulder and steered us into an alleyway.

We waited, pressed up against the wall for a few minutes until Squirt had caught her breath and the sirens had faded. I looked at Squirt. She couldn't run for much longer, and it was surprising she could keep up a well as she did for so long. I would have to carry her, but that meant putting the box down, and, knowing Angel, she'd run herself to the ground before she let me abandon the kittens.

"Alright, let's see what we have here," I muttered, assessing the situation. What are the tools at my disposal... Uh, duct tape, the minor explosives in my tool belt, some old rope in the corner of this alley, and about a thousand hidden pocket knives. Bingo. Without hesitation, I put the box on the ground and opened it up. Pushing a few cats out of the way, I cut four holes in the bottom. I had Angel grab me the rope and I cut it in half before looping the two pieces in through the holes and knotting the ends. A make shift backpack. Just to make sure the kitten wouldn't fall out, I covered everything in duct tape and cut the top flap off to provide some fresh air to the felines.

Angel watched the whole process with awe. "A kitty backpack!" she exclaimed as I examined the finish product.

"Yup," I agreed. "A kitty backpack,"

It had begun to pour when I slipped the, er, "kitty backpack," on, and, without hesitation, grabbed Angel and put her on my shoulders. I took off, my worn sneakers pounding against the pavement. After half an hour of running, we were well out of the city and the suburbs, leaving us in the lush, green forest. I slowed my pace down to a walk and let Angel to the ground.

"Home, sweet home," I said as I jumped the fence, completely ignoring the "GOVERNMENT PROPERTY. NO TRESSPASSING." sign. I finally let out a sigh of relief when I reached a cave with prominent claw markings and a few dead rabbit corpses, looking still fresh. Angel was totally unfazed by any of this, bless her.

"Honey, I'm home!" I shouted into the darkness, pressing on a few pebbles as if they were buttons. Which, in fact, they were. A remote control camera came out, scanning my face and my right eye. "Techie, it's me, dude. Chill," I said, looking straight at the camera. I heard a sigh come from out of the intercom.

"Fine, come on in," he said. A wall of the cave hissed, then slid open to reveal a hallway. As I walked in, I shrugged the backpack box off and held it under my arm, my free hand holding Angel's. A few cats poked their noses out, whiskers twitching as they searched the area. Cute little buggers.

I knocked twice on the oak door with my black, polished nails. "Enter,"

**(Leader) Echo's P.O.V.**

"Enter," I called from my desk. I heard the door slide open and close against my plain, beige carpet. I put down my handkerchief, now splotched black with motor oil.

"Been tinkering again, eh, Leader?" came the familiar voice.

"You know it, Blare," I sat up a bit. "Mission report," At those words, everything got serious and formal. Blare and Angel saluted and stood at attention.

"Mission successful. Completed at nineteen hundred hours in a timely manner. The authorities came quickly, this time. And..." Blare looked to Angel.

"And we found kitties!" she smiled. I nodded.

"At ease," I ordered, and you could almost see their shoulders sag in relief. "Now, you said something about finding kitties?" I smiled lightly at Angel. She was practically bouncing in place.

"Yeah, yeah! Lookie, Mama!" she tugged on Blare's arm for the box. Once she had it, she struggled a bit to tow it to my desk. When I offered to help she said, "No, no. I can do it myself," Now you might be a bit confused. I mean, I'm twenty and she's eight. So, no. I can't possibly be her biological mother, I mean, for pete's sake! I can _not_ be a teen mom, let alone a preteen mom. There's also the fact that I'm still a virgin. I had actually found her off the streets when she was six, and ever since then I've been her over protective maternal figure. Ergo, Mama.

She finally managed to get the box on my desk, and she jumped to sit on my knee, like I was Santa Clause. If it were anybody else, I would spaz. I have a minor case of haphephobia. Fear of direct human contact. Very small, so no really big panic attacks. I only freeze, and if it's severe, I might hyperventilate, but that's as far as it'll go. But Angel was my baby, so I let it slide.

She undid the flap with her pocket knife (yes, I allow my eight year old baby have a pocket knife. How's that for cool mom?) and soon ten pairs of eyes flashed over to meet ours. They all seemed to have taken an interest with me. These cats... were not as I had expected. They all looked like they went to a college party with the art club. Colorful. They all held themselves with a certain... I don't know. But there was just this... this _air _about them that set my nerves on edge. But as soon as I looked at Angel, I knew I had lost. She used the puppy eyes against me. Hook, line, and sinker.

"Sososososososo? Whaddaya think? Can I keep them pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?" she pleaded.

"Now, now, Rat Princess. Ladies don't beg," I waggled a finger in front of her face. "Besides, if we did keep them, and that's an italicized _if, _we'd have to give them to somebody else in the Souls. You already have your rats, and you can't have both,"

She pouted for a second before saying, "I don't care. I don't wanna leave them out in the cold." I smiled a bit, proud of her decision.

"Good choice, Princess. Let's go introduce them to the others. You need practice on your formal intros in case we get a new member, anyways, so we'll be doing the old fashion, 'Welcome to the chaos that is the Lost Souls' kind of thing," I said, ruffling her hair.

"Cool!" she grinned.

Clearing my throat, I leaned onto the desk. I could feel the cats' eyes on me as they analyzed my movements. Which couldn't possibly be true. I mean, they're _cats_. They couldn't possibly be that smart without training. I shook off the feeling an held down the comm. BUTTON. "Leader to team, attention, team. Please report to the lounge for a formal meeting. Over."

Angel hopped to the ground and took my hand. I effortlessly lifted the box and clicked my tongue twice, like I was calling a horse. "Aurum?" I called. "Lounge." Then, out of a rather inconspicuous window, came my best lion, Aurum. Angel squealed at the sight of her favorite feline and jumped onto his golden back. I put the box so it balanced on his shoulder blades as Angel helped support it. He snorted in greeting before casually strolling to the lounge. It would be an understatement to say the cats were terrified/shocked/confused as to why I had a freaking _lion _in my base and why it was letting a child ride on it like a pony.

"Blare," I asked, once I was sure they were out of earshot. "Don't those cats remind you of certain somethings? Or, more rather, certain somebodies?"

"Now that I think of it... Oh, yeah!" it dawned on her. "This is like some fanfiction! That is so cool! I didn't think of it as much before, but now that I notice it, they look just like the-"

"Blare," I cut her off. "No fandom references allowed. That would be violation of the treaty. Don't you remember the Great Whovian/Narutard War?" I asked, giving her a sharp look.

She shivered. "Oh, no. I'm pretty sure if you look under couch you can still find some kunai and sonic screwdrivers,"

"A terrible time indeed," I nodded solemnly. "We had to burn all fandom related Hot Topic merch,"

"All those beautiful posters and manga," she sniffed. I put a comforting hand on her back and we had a short moment of silence to mourn our lost things.

Yes, we are all nerds. We have all read most (if not all, like Blare and I) of the Naruto manga, as well as kept up to date on Doctor Who and several other shows, like Sherlock and Hetalia. And then the fandoms clashed into an all-out war.

Bad times. Bad, bad times.

Blare and I made our way to the lounge, and I suddenly felt sorry for the cats.

"Sorry, kitties," I whispered. "But welcome to the chaos that is the Lost Souls,"


	2. Chapter 2: The Lost Souls

**Chapter Two:**

**The Lost Souls**

**Third Person/Cats' P.O.V.**

"Leader-sama, that girl..." Itachi said, his kitty eyes wide. Or as wide as he could get them without losing his emotionless persona.

"Yes, the leader. Her chakra level is immense. But I thought we were in a chakra-less world," mused Pein.

"She said we're going to meet the others. Does this mean we've been unintentionally captured by another organization?" asked Konan.

"... I do believe so. It seems like we're going to become their pets," Pein nodded.

"The one time we've been captured... is on accident," Konan's whiskers twitched with amusment. Suddenly, the box they were in jostled. All they cats dug their claws into the cardboard to keep balance.

"Jashin damned lion can't carry us right!" cursed Hidan.

"Tobi thinks we're stopping!" cheered Tobi.

"Do you have to shout in my ear?" grumbled Deidara, his ear flicking in annoyance. And just as Tobi had predicted, the box stopped. The cats braced their tiny paws against the side of the box, straining their neck to get a better view.

The leader girl and the pyro they had first met, Blare, had caught up to them. The leader waited by the door for Blare to go inside, waited a moment, and then entered after her.

"Hai!" a group of four unknown people plus Blare stood at attention in a very plain lounge, facing straight ahead, their right arms in a salute. The leader walked right past them.

"We have received new possible members today," she stated formally, her piercing green eyes staring at each of them individually, searching for weakness. She found none. Pleased, she barked, "Enter!"

The lion dutifully marched forwards, Angel still holding the box.

"Meet the new apprentices," Angel slid off the lion like a professional horse rider and tipped the box so the kittens would fall out. As soon as they all tumbled out, she put the box to the side and scurried to stand at the end and saluted, just like the others.

"At ease," said the leader girl. The group sighed quietly and relaxed.

An innocent looking, pink haired girl who stood at the beginning of the line stepped forwards and began. "Hiya, kitties! My name is Eleanor. Just call me Ellie. I'm the Interrogator around here. I'm also fifteen years old." All the cats agreed that she looked in no way an interrogator. Pigtails, hazel eyes, pinkette, there was no way a girl so pure could do anything T&I related. Or at least it seemed that way to the cats.

"Uh... Ellie? Why are you talking to cats?" questioned a blue haired boy. He was outfitted with a lab coat over a blue sweater, grey cargo pants, and blue rimmed glasses. His eyes were a deep sapphire blue, and had this calculating look about them.

"Because they're like babies, Techie!" she pouted. "You gotta treat 'em like adults!" Then she leaned over and whispered to the cats, "Don't worry about grumpy pants, over there. Apollo's the Technician, but we normally just call him the Techie." The cats had no idea what a "techie" was, but knowing his name helped a bit.

Apollo grumbled a bit about how it still didn't make sense, but the leader gave him a look that said, "if you ignore her, she'll go away," and then sent the others a, "just play along," look.

"Um, hello... cats. I'm Artemis, Apollo's sister. I'm the Medic. Seventeen years young," said a blue haired girl. She had ridiculously long hair in twin pigtails, and a lab coat with glasses, much like her brother. The biggest difference, though, (other than the difference in gender) was the small loops on her grey cargo pants. The loops were near the pockets and filled with vials of colorful, bubbling liquids. There were also a lot of suspiciously vial shaped lumps in her pockets. Under her lab coat was a crisp, white dress shirt and tie.

"Hey there, kits. You all already know me, I'm Blare, I'm a pro with pyrotechnics, and I'm eighteen. Oh, and I'm second in command," came the some-what familiar voice. It was Blare, obviously. And because I bet you all are waiting for a proper description, I'll give you one. Blare's a bit on the tall side of normal, but not too much so. She had short, black hair with red streaks in it. The clothes she wore were mostly black, and she had black, fingerless gloves that went to her elbows. She had two silver loops per ear, and she wore a few necklaces.

"Hello, cats. I'm Echo Song. I'm the Leader. Twenty years old, and technically the legal guardian for any of my members under eighteen," said the leader. At least now they had a name to put with the face. Echo wasn't tall, but she wasn't short. Maybe 5'7-ish. She had long, butt length, brown hair that she kept down, and sharp, green eyes. Her other facial features were fairly soft, and she wore a clean, pure white dress shirt with a blue tie under a grey sweater. She also wore grey dress slacks and a gun holstered on her belt. Not that the Akatsuki knew what a gun was. She had silver earrings, and a silver locket.

Then they (the Akatsuki _and _the Lost Souls alike) all stared at the last member expectantly, and he blinked a few times before pointing to himself. "Huh? Me? Oh, yeah, right, sorry. I'm Kaze, that means 'wind' in Japanese. I'm the Scout, and at the youthful age of nineteen," he struck a pose, "and I'm single." Kaze had blond hair that stuck up all over the place, and was pretty lanky. He was about six feet tall, and had this athletic look about him. He wore a tattered black shirt left open over a grey t-shirt and a pale yellow scarf with a few dog tags.

"Did you just..." started Apollo.

"What? What?" asked Kaze.

"Did you just attempt to flirt with _cats_? I mean, I know you're desperate for a girlfriend, but really? Did you have to ask _cats?_"

"No, I didn't flirt, not seriously. I'm just practicing for when we get a cute girl in the Lost Souls who _doesn't _have an overprotective family member, freezes at most human contact, wants to set everything on fire and blow sh*t up, or is an idiot," Kaze said, brushing Apollo off.

"Did you just..." started Ellie.

"Hm? What now?" asked Kaze, sticking a pinkie into his ear.

"Kaze, you _do _know that the girls greatly out number you, right?" said Apollo.

"Yeah? So?" he said, bored.

"And you _do_ know that we're all strong enough to take on three men, twice our size, _each?_" said Artemis.

"And you _do_ know that Ellie just had candy, right?" added Blare.

"Why is this important?" asked Kaze, noticing that each of the girls had a menacing aura.

"And you _do_ know that you just greatly offended all of us, right?" asked the Leader, a sweet, yet terrifying smile on her face.

"Uh... You guys know I was just kidding, right? _Right? RIGHT- OH, GOD, PLEASE PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN!"_

A few minutes and a chainsaw later, a beaten up Kaze lay on the ground.

The girls dusted their hands off and sat on the couches by the TV. Apollo, who had been reading on the couch with Angel while the cats stared the whole time Kaze was pleading for mercy, shut his book with a snap and sighed.

"You girls done?" he asked.

"Yup,"

"Yeah,"

"Pretty much. I mean, I got the urge to pound his face in out of my system,"

"Good," he nodded.

"Time to name the cats," said Echo, her composure back.

"These girls are terrifying, un," said a pale Deidara.

"Holy sh*t," added Hidan.

"It... would be best not to upset him," said Pein, his voice only wavering a bit.

"That was... quite harsh," agreed Itachi.

"Tobi is scared of the girl who was with the chainsaw," Tobi mewled.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" asked Zetsu.

**(Leader) Echo's P.O.V.**

We all sat in a circle on the floor (Minus Kaze, who was still out of it from the beat down).

"Okay, so you know the rules for naming things. Don't do anything in violation of the treaty, and keep it PG for Angel, here," I said as I put a hand on Angel's head fondly. "As for who these kits will be staying with, well... whoever goes first gets a cat, then we go clockwise in the circle from there."

"I wanna go first!" Angel's hand shot up in the air.

"Okay, hun," I smiled soflty at her eagerness.

She looked over the cats carefully before picking up the lavender one with hazel eyes. "Hey, Mama. What's 'Angel' in Japanese, again?" she asked.

"That'd be 'Tenshi', Ange," I answered.

"Okay! She'll be Tenshi!"

"That's a nice name, Princess," I said. She carefully put Tenshi in her lap, softly petting her purple fur. Tenshi purred.

"My turn!" said Blare. She looked for one in specific before going, "Aha! There you are, ye wee bugger!" in an Irish accent. "This is the one that scratched my shoulder up!" she said, putting a hand on her right shoulder. "He's an *ss, but he's got spunk... Hm... so many derogatory names," she put finger on her chin, holding the silver kitten by the scruff with her free hand and grinning evilly.

"Blare, nothing inappropriate. Little Angel is here, remember?" I said, making her frown a bit.

"Fine, if I can't name you something bad, I'll name you after the best guy I know!" Blare lifted her cat in the air, Lion King style.

"I DUB THEE JASHIN!" she yelled. The cat blinked a bit in confusion, then took notice of one of her many necklaces: a circular pendant with a triangle in the center. Blare set him down and he sat with his head high and seemed to be bragging to a brown kitten with... stitches, I guess.

"What?! If you get to name your cat after your religious figure, then I get to, too!" shouted a determined Ellie. She grabbed a cat at random and ended up with an orange cat with black spots. "I DUB THEE GOD!" she yelled with as much force as Blare had.

I face-palmed. Why do I put up with these guys? Oh, yeah. They're my only friends. Before anybody else could take the calm ones, I gently lifted up a black one with obsidian eyes. I held him up at eye-level "Are you gonna be a trouble maker, or are you willing to help keep these weirdos in line?" I asked him seriously. I could've sworn he nodded. "Good," I said. "I think I'll call you Fire,"

"Okay, I get all the other names. But Fire? Seriously?" asked Ellie.

"Says the girl who named her cat God," I shot back. "Besides. Can't you see it? He's got fire in his eyes," I said.

"Whatever," the pinkette huffed.

Apollo picked up the brown one with weird eyes and stitches. "Hello, little one," he said calmly. "I think I'll call you Frank,"

We all (minus Kaze. He's _still _out.) stared at him blankly. Even Frank looked unamused. "Dude, that has got to be the most unoriginal name I have ever heard," commented Blare.

"I have to agree with Blare on this one, 'Pollo. What the heck?" said Artemis.

"Frank. Short for Franken Stein, 'cause of his stitches. You know, Franken Stein, the mad scientist who stole body parts from graves, sewed them together, and created a monster?" he asked.

We all "Ohh,"'d at this revelation. Frank suddenly looked a little more pleased with his name.

Artemis was next in the circle, so she got the last calm one: a red, seemingly emotionless kitten. "You look like a man of science," she mused. Then she took on an evil look, "and poisons," she added.

"Artemis, no testing poisons on the cats," I told her.

She frowned and seemed hurt that I would assume such a thing. "I didn't mean it like _that, _I meant he would help me in the lab. Like a science buddy to help manage the monkeys," she said. Yes, she has pet monkeys. I have lions. Scout has messenger hawks. Blare is not usually trusted with animals. Ellie has two bears, just 'cause she claims they help intimidate while she interrogates. Apollo has no patience for pets. Angel has rats. Why else would I call her Princess Rat? Anyhow, we have pets of all kinds to help us with our lines of work.

"I think I'll call you Hemlock, the most poisonous plant in North America," she said.

"My turn!" came a hyperactive voice. Blare jumped a bit.

"Where the heck did _you _come from?!" she yelled.

"Well, you see, Blare. When a mommy loves a daddy very much-"

"Shut up, idiot! That's not what I meant!" she yelled.

"That's not very nice," a newly revived Kaze said, putting a hand on his heart as if her words had stabbed him.

Kaze looked at all the remaining cats: a black one with an orange face, the half-black, half-white one, a blond kitten with a floppy ear over one eye, and the blue, shark-like one. I could almost see a light bulb flash over his head.

Kaze swooped down and grabbed the black and white one. "I WANNA CALL THIS ONE Z-"

I smashed a fist over his head. "VIOLATION OF THE FANDOM TREATY!" I shouted.

Kaze pouted as he rubbed the bump on his head. "What am I supposed to call him, then? Oreo?"

"Okay, there's no way in heck I'd put that cat through the shame and torture of being called a brand of cookie," I said.

"But those are the only things that come to mind!" he whined.

I sighed. "How about Audrey?" I asked.

"But he's a guy!" Kaze said.

"No, I mean Audrey as in the man-eating plant from outer space who has control over people's fate," I said. "It isn't _technically_ breaking the treaty," I pointed out.

"Oh, okay!" said Kaze, all cheered up now.

"Rat Princess, your turn again," I told Angel who had been playing with Tenshi.

"Oh, okay!" she said, deciding on her next kitten. After a moment's consideration, she grabbed the blue one. I prayed she wouldn't name this one Jaws.

"I think... I'll just call him Blue," she decided. "It's simple and easy to remember. I like it."

"Awesome," I kissed the top of her head.

Blare loudly announced it was her turn as she had previously, and she grabbed the yellow one. "Now, you, mi amigo pequeño, my little friend, look like you would enjoy a good explosion," she grinned. The kitten grinned back at her. Well, that's not weird at all (note the sarcasm). I raised an eyebrow. These cats... they were odd. No doubt about it.

"Mama, it's your turn," Angel tugged on my sleeve, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Thanks for reminding me, sweetie," I said. I grabbed the last kitten, one that looked like it was on crack. It was rapidly chasing its tail, so I just leaned down and plucked him off the ground with one hand.

"Hello, you," I said. The cat just beamed at me. "I think I should name you... Masquerade. I'll call you Masky, for short,"

A few members snickered, catching my Creepy Pasta reference. The treaty said nothing of Creepy Pasta, I was safe.

"Hey, Echo?" said Artemis.

"Yes, Artemis?"

"I'm so sorry."

"Why?"

"For giving these cats such f*cked up names."

"Don't worry. I am, too."

* * *

**In case you forget:**

**Leader - Echo**

**Scout - Kaze**

**Pyro - Blare**

**Medic - Artemis**

**Techie - Apollo**

**Interrogator - Eleanor**

**Apprentice - Angel**

**Pein - God  
Konan - Tenshi  
Zetsu - Audrey  
Tobi - Masky  
Kisame - Blue  
Itachi - Fire  
Sasori - Hemlock  
Deidara - Blast  
Hidan - Jashin  
Kakuzu - Frank**

**I tried to make them as obvious as possible!**

**.**


	3. Chapter 3: Exploration!

**A/N: Oh my jelly! I got a review! Thanks tons and tons to Update Zombie for reviewing! You rock! Onto le story!**

**Chapter Three:**

**Exploration!**

**Third Person/ Cats' P.O.V.**

After the cats were taken into Artemis' lab and had check ups to ensure there were no diseases, confirm their ages (and to confirm their gender. Nobody wanted to do it before, so they had just assumed on the names. The cats were all blushing by the time it was over, and they all swore never to mention it again), they were put back into the lounge where Echo dismissed the group.

"Alright, Akatsuki. Get with your partner and do some exploring. Zetsu and Konan?" the leader ordered. "You're coming with me. Itachi, you may be needed later on to help us find a jutsu to return us to our normal forms,"

Itachi nodded and walked around the lounge with Kisame. The other pairs went to observe the Lost Souls, and he and Kisame were to learn about this new land.

The Lost Souls, as they had called themselves, had quickly dispersed after the short meeting. Most of them had gone straight to work (Apollo, Artemis, and Echo), taking their cats with them. Itachi had leaped out of Echo's arms, though, escaping her. Echo simply looked at the cat, seemed to think for a minute, shrugged, and kept walking. Blare, however, had gone to the kitchen connected to the lounge for a snack, and Kaze said he was going to go to the "training room". Ellie left to do God-knows-what, and Angel had gone to her room to color in her Transformers coloring book.

The blue kitten and his raven furred companion checked behind bookshelves filled with books in another language, around the coffee table, and the flat screen TV was given a thorough inspection.

"Itachi! Come here! I think I found something!" called Kisame.

"Hn?" Itachi strolled forwards.

"There appear to be some kunai under the couch as well as... a glow-y light stick?" said Kisame, lying on his side and sticking his paws as far as they could go. He managed to hook a kunai knife with his claws, and it was a painstakingly long process getting it out. Itachi just stared under the couch at the "glow-y light stick", and by the time Kisame got the kunai out, they had attracted attention to themselves.

"Now, where did you get that, little kits?" asked a voice.

The cats looked up to see Blare leaning over, hands on her knees, staring at them.

"Uh... meow?" said Kisame doubtfully. Blare sighed and lay down on her side, sticking a flashlight under the couch.

"Oh, would you look at that. I was right, there _are_ still leftovers from the Great Fandom War under here," she said, pulling out the glow-y light stick.

"The eleventh's sonic screwdriver," she mused. She pressed a button experimentally, and it glowed green with a weird sound.

"Why are you-?" she looked to the cats. But they weren't there. Itachi and Kisame had grabbed the kunai with their teeth, and managed to run off with it. Between the two of them, it was still pretty heavy, but they managed to run with it, looking for their leader.

The base was pretty large, and the hallways were very plain, sometimes leading to dead ends. It was easy to get lost here. It seemed as if they had stumbled upon the Training Room.

The Training Room was _huge_, and most of the room was hard-packed dirt. There were a few chalk lines on the ground in some places, most likely used for arenas. There were also several punching bags, yoga mats, barbells, and pull up bars, but what was most prominent was what the Lost Souls had dubbed the Never-Ending-Obstacle-Course.

Kaze was running, jumping, and dodging in what seemed to be a treadmill on steroids. It was a large conveyor belt, at least thirty feet long and seven feet wide. Several obstacles slid along with the treadmill, swinging axes, tunnels to dive through, hurdles to jump, and even a flamethrower. Around the treadmill was a moat, and the cats wondered what its purpose was until Kaze seemed to run out of steam, barely managing to get past a warped wall, and threw himself over the edge. He landed in the water, gasping for air, and side-stroked to the edge.

"Oh..." gasp. "Hi, cats..." wheeze. He tried to catch his breath, then heaved himself over the side, landing on his back. The cats just stared as the sounds of swinging pointy things and whizzing buzz saws whirred in the background.

"Holy crap, that thing is a _beast_." Kaze breathed. "I didn't even _know _Apollo had installed a flamethrower! And I thought _Ellie _was over funded."

After a moment, Kaze stood up, walked over to a panel next to the pool, and pressed a few buttons. "Twenty-one minutes, eighteen seconds," he muttered, flicking his hair a bit to get rid of the water. "New record," he grinned tiredly in triumph at himself.

If Kisame had lips, he would've whistled lowly. "Twenty minutes on that thing, and with no chakra, too," he said. "I have to say I'm impressed,"

Itachi just "hn"'d, picked the kunai back up, and said, "Let's get this to Leader-sama,"

* * *

Sasori was taken to Artemis' lab. It was kind of messy, and it was actually hers as well as Apollo's. The lab was divided evenly in half by a line straight down the middle. There was a soundproof glass barrier that can easily and quickly go in between the spaces in case Artemis accidentally creates a deadly disease and they need to quarantine it. It's happened before. Don't worry, though. Everybody got out alive.

Anyhow, she was ordering some monkeys to do some simple tasks, like retrieving things, while Sasori tried to read her notes. He couldn't understand a word. _Maybe this is all in code. _he mused. _These people _do _seem a quite a bit paranoid._

After a minute Artemis sat in her swivel chair and slid down to a computer. She typed rapidly, opening up documents and pulling up graphs before she came to a stop at a list. She smirked evilly and Apollo came into his side of the lab.

"Oh, great. You've got that signature 'mad scientist' look on your face again. Are you going to have another go at the mind control drug you've been working on?" he asked casually, as if he was discussing the weather. Sasori raised his eyebrow at that. These kids were more clever than he had thought.

He felt himself get lifted off of the desk and placed on Artemis' lap as she pet him and grinned like a typical Disney villain.

"Not today. I have scheduled testings on that one for next week. This one is an undetermined. I have no clue what it'll due, but I bet it has something to do with unraveling and re-writing DNA, as well as pain. Lots and lots of pain. It'll be an annoyingly long process to find and get the centrifuge working, but I feel like it'll be worth it," she giggled madly. Soon her giggles turned into mad and crazed laughter, and even Sasori felt at least a bit intimidated.

He suddenly wished he was chosen by the little eight year old girl.

* * *

Hidan was frustrated. Actually, scratch that, he was _beyond _frustrated. He was one hundred percent ticked off. I mean, getting named Jashin was pretty awesome, but this base was even more confusing than the Akatsuki's! He was lost, he hadn't done a sacrifice in what felt like _forever, _he couldn't use chakra, and his paws ached. The fact that he even _had _paws just pissed him off more.

After a freaking _eternity _of walking through boring halls and going through boring rooms, he found a room that he actually found kind of interesting. It was filled with different... things. Hidan had no idea what they were. There were some black drums, Hidan knew what _those _were, but they were all stuck together in an odd shape.

In the middle of the room there was a thin, black pillar with a cylinder stuck to a sphere on the top. No idea what the heck it was. There was a cord from the top of it o an outlet, so Hidan assumed it was electronic.

There was also some... wooden... _thing _that looked like a bad*ss shamisen [1]. It was sleek and black, and it had a strap. It sat proudly in a corner, covered in little pieces of paper that said... stuff. Hidan didn't know, he couldn't understand it.

Hidan happily trotted up to the shamisen and stummed at the stings with one of his claws. As soon as he did it, a loud sound came from a box that sat right next to it. Hidan's eyes immediately lit up, and he reached over to play with it again when he was grabbed and thrown (rather harshly) a few steps back.

Blare was there in an instant. Hidan could swear she wasn't there a second ago. "Oh, my poor baby! Are you okay? Did the mean kitty hurt you?" she cooed to her instrument. "Bad Jashin! You're in _so _much trouble right now! How _dare _you touch my guitar! Can't you read?" she gestured madly to the sticky notes all over her... guitar.

She grabbed her guitar off of the stand, pulled a guitar pick from her back pocket (Why does she even have a pick in her pocket?), and played the first riff from the first Soul Eater opening.

"You're one lucky b*tch. You better be damn thankful nothing's broken, or else I would've had to cut off your little man parts and sacrifice you to Jashin," she said as she made "snip-snip" motions with her hand.

Hidan's fur rose and he let out a pathetic mewl. "Help?"

* * *

Kakuzu was taking a nap. What can you do? It wasn't like he was being _paid _to do this. Plus, being a cat is tiring, and the author is being lazy. **(Hey!) **Why protest? You know it's the truth. **(… You smell funny.)**

* * *

Tobi was _not _happy. Somebody had taken _his _Akatsuki and thrown them into an entirely different _world, and _they were _cats._

He was _definitely _not happy. He attempted to take his anger out on the Lost Souls' leader by scattering her papers, meowing, and generally attempting to annoy the living crap out of her, but she seemed to have an everlasting pool of patience because every time he pawed at her leg, "accidentally" leaving his claws out, she would scold him gently and play with him a bit.

"You're just a little trouble maker, aren't you?" she chuckled softly. "You would've absolutely _adored _playing with-" she cut herself off, looking sad for a second. Tobi meowed a bit and sniffed her cheek, and she snapped out of it. "Oh, uh, sorry. I was just... reminiscing for a second, there," she said, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

After an hour more of playing, she yawned and put down the cat toy she had in her desk (Why did she have a _cat toy _in her desk? It's like Blare's guitar pick. Maybe Echo uses it to play with her lions... Yeah, that's probably it.).

"Okay, Masky. Enough playing, it's time for food, and afterwards I have to finish up all this paperwork. C'mon, Masky," she said, getting up and brushing off her pants. She went over to her desk, held down a button and said, "There's gonna be a late dinner in about an hour. Everybody, grab your cats."

She went out of the room, across the hall, and into a room just across from her office. Tobi curiously followed her, only to be gently pushed out. "No peeping, Masky," said Echo.

Tobi waited outside her room, impatiently meowing until she came back out. She was in casual clothes, just simple black sweats and a simple dark green tank top. He meowed again and she scooped him up and cradled him in her arms. Giving a last attempt at provoking her, Tobi climbed up her bare arms, digging in with his claws, and sat on top of her head, mussing up her hair a bit. He looked down her arms to see a bit of blood, and grinned proudly at his work.

Echo frowned and plucked Tobi off of her head, holding him at arms length while he gave her a guilty meow, looking down. She just sighed and put him back on her head. _Dammit, why can't I get a reaction out of her? _Tobi thought. Her patience was just making him angrier. He huffed and laid his chin on her head.

* * *

Deidara was bored. Heck, he was ready to bang his head against the wall if it would entertain him. He'd been stalking this Blare chick, hoping she'd make things explode, but so far? Nothing. He'd watched her get something she called a "sonic" from under the couch, and he'd watched her tell off Hidan. That _was _pretty funny, though. But she had yet to create any art.

Blare went to a large, concrete, windowless room. It was pretty tall, and there were several cracks and craters in the floor, and there was a small room in the corner with a work table. She went to the table, spun in a swivel chair a few times, and then put on some safety glasses. Blare tinkered for only a few minutes, probably only finishing a project, before blowing her bangs out of her face and holding up... a box. It was actually pretty plain. It was simple, a black box with no distinguishing features. Then Blare urned off the lights, ran to the middle of the room, put the box in the center, and sprinted back to the end wall. She pulled out a small remote, and Deidara knew what was going to happen.

He tore across the room and hid behind her legs. Blare took no notice of him and pressed the big, red button in the middle of the remote.

It. Was. Beautiful. The bottom of the box slid open, and the box shot up like a rocket, only a thin line of smoke trailing behind it. The box exploded in bright red fireworks of all different kinds. Roman candles, fountains, dahlias, the works. And what's best? There was hardly any smoke. It was almost entirely color and sound as whistlers spiraled around. Deidara stared in awe, and Blare stood up straight, the stupidest grin on her face. The show must've gone on for at _least _ten minutes (which is extremely impressive for just one bomb), and when the last flashes of light faded out, Blare whispered, "Katsu."

Deidara's little kitty jaw dropped.

* * *

**Echo's P.O.V.**

Ouch. Masky scratched me up pretty badly, but I tried to pay him no mind. I was beyond suspicious of these cats, but I needed solid evidence to approach them. I wanted to know exactly _who _they were (it couldn't possibly be the Akatsuki, that's too cliché), and I also wanted these cats to get close to the Lost Souls. It might be bad for us, but it'd be even worse for them, since they'd hesitate to kill us. Besides, it's hard to get mad at a face so cute.

…

It's a weakness I'm not proud of, okay?

Anyhow, after getting into my casual clothes, I went to the kitchen to make everybody a late dinner. I pondered for a bit before deciding to make everybody a simple spaghetti dinner. Unfortunately, when you're me, nothing is ever simple. So I decided on a two course meal plus dessert for the humans, and a garlic roast for the cats. Even though they're cats, I will _not _make them eat the processed crap from Petco. Cooking is a good stress reliever, anyways.

**(Skip this part if you don't like boring cooking stuff)**

I put "Masky" on the counter top, washed my hands, and put on my fancy waiter/waitress' apron (you know, the kind that is only from the waist down?). I got out all the stuff I needed, and grabbed some beef from the fridge and ground up most of it. After forming them into meatballs, I boiled the water, added the olive oil and dumped the dry spaghetti in. I prepared the sauce in another pan, seasoned the un-ground beef and put it in the oven to roast. Soon as that was done, I got out some bread, cut it in half length-wise, and added cheese, garlic, and a crap ton of spices. I tested the spaghetti by throwing it at the wall (It would suffice to say Masky was startled.) and drained it in the sink, then switched out the roast for the garlic bread. I set the sauce to simmer, then lay out the plates.

**(Okay, we good now.)**

After most of the food was cooked, I looked around the wall to see everybody was at the table, even little Angel (even though it was already ten at night. She's hard to get to sleep.). I rang the dinner bell, and, yes, we have a dinner bell, and everybody turned to look at me.

"First course of tonight, cheesy garlic bread," I announced before grabbing six small plates, three on each arm, with neatly arranged garlic bread. While they were eating, I arranged the spaghetti and meatballs on plates (I'm a bit OCD when it comes to culinary arts) and set them out when everybody was about done.

While the Lost Souls were stuffing their faces, I put the roast down on a plate on the floor for the cats. Most of them fell on the food like a pack of starving wolves, while others ate with elegance and class. Weird cats.

I quickly got my own food and sat at the head of the table, eating my share of spaghetti. We all talked at the table, as per usual.

"-and then I set it on fire!"

"That souds _so _cool. Speaking of fire, Apollo, since when have you installed a _flamethrower _on the Never-Ending-Obstacle-Course-of-Doom?"

"Since yesterday,"

"You're so over funded,"

"I know,"

I finished quickly, as always, and grabbed a bucket of vanilla ice cream. I unceremoniously dumped it in the center of the table along with a stack of bowls. I scooped some for myself and Angel, then set it in front of her. I sat back down in my seat and turned to see how the cats were doing...

And immediately regretted it. They had all finished eating and some were licking their paws clean. As soon as they noticed I was staring, they looked at me, then the ice cream, then me, but with puppy eyes.

"... I'm such a softie," I grumbled as I stuck a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth and put the rest of the bowl in front of the cats. I knelt down, watching the cats devour the treat. I started to regret giving away my share of ice cream when a couple of cats snuggled against me. Masky butted his head against my arm and purred, and the others nodded their heads in thanks. And all of a sudden it was totally worth it.

* * *

"Good night Rat Princess," I whispered as I tucked her in bed. I looked at one of her rats, Yuki, and said, "Watch over her while Ellie and I go to work, okay?" The rat squeaked and scampered along the alcove of her wall filled with stuffed animals.

I walked out and checked the time- it was nearly midnight. Time to go to work.

**[1] A shamisen is a... well, just imagine it to be like a traditional Japanese banjo.**


	4. Chapter 4: The Late Night Job

**A/N: This is going to be a fairly serious chappie. I'll be introducing the reason for Echo's OP tendencies. It might seem a bit Mary-Sue-ish (braces self for flames), for those of you who catch on to what I'm aiming on doing, but I actually have legit reasons as to how and why, not just "Because I totally can". Bear with me, my beautiful readers, and thank you for all your beautiful reviews!  
**

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

**The Late Night Job**

* * *

**Recap:**

_I walked out and checked the time. It was nearly midnight. Time to go to work._

* * *

**Echo's P.O.V.**

I walked slowly to my room as to not awaken the lighter sleepers. As soon as I got through the door, I let out an almost inaudible sigh.

"I just want to get this job over with," I muttered before wrapping my hands with bandages all the way from my knuckles to a little bit past my elbows with practiced ease and tugging on some black, fingerless gloves. After quickly putting my hair up into a high pony tail, I put on a long-ish leather jacket and combat boots with black shorts, leaving my olive green tank top on, before heading to the garage where Ellie was waiting.

"Ready to go?" she asked. Ellie was in her "serious" clothes, which was basically just a plain, navy blue suit. I nodded then put on my helmet. She pulled on her own and grabbed her fancy black bag.

I jumped on my favorite motorcycle (which I had named "El Bosque de Yedra" [1]) and Ellie jumped on behind me. The garage door opened and I drove on out.

The night was perfect. The rain had stopped, so the air was fresh and clear. The lights of the nearby city were bright and blurred as I zoomed past. Traffic was scarce, so we didn't bother with some of the red lights. It was almost autumn, but the warmth of the waning summer still lingered in the air. I wanted to slip the visor of my helmet up to taste the crisp air, but we arrived to the place sooner than I would've liked.

I parked my motorcycle in a corner, and stepped off. I didn't bother to leave my helmet with my bike, because in this part of the city, anything not tied down, with a boot, or with my name on it was fair game.

Ellie and I made our way to an old, rickety building covered in graffiti and rust. We went to the buff guy out front, and he gave us a once over.

"What're you pretty ladies doin' out here late at night?" he gave us a gold toothed grin. I mentally sighed and took off my helmet, shaking out my hair all dramatic-like.

"You were saying, Marcus?" I asked.

His eyes widened a bit before he gave me a real smile. "How ya doin', Eve? I haven't seen you out here in a while," he said. Now you might be curious- who the heck is Eve? Eve is my street name. Correction, my street _fighting _name. Long story short, I have some interesting friends who got me into it. Because of my fighting reputation, it got me some pretty good underground connections. Plus, if you were good, like me, it was an easy way of making money. If you were bad but _looked _tough, it was an easy way for people to wrongly bet on you and make you lose your mode of transportation.

"Yeah, I had stuff to do back at home," I said, shrugging.

"What, you got a boy tucked away somewhere?" he asked, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Marcus," I raised an eyebrow. "You should know very well why I don't have a boyfriend,"

"I should, but I don't. So tell me, why?"

"Because I just adopted ten cats," I said seriously. He broke out in hearty laughter and I chuckled a bit.

"Alright, no more goofin' around. I'll tell the ref that you're here, you know how he is. He'll drop anybody just to see you fight. Get in that ring and beat the new guy," he grinned, thumping my back. Ellie gave him a high-five as she passed and flashed a smile at him.

I smiled back and entered the room. "New guy?" I asked Ellie.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I heard rumors about some guy called Captain Teror [2],"

"Captain Terror? What kind of a street name is that?" I asked.

"Not Terror, Teror. T-E-R-O-R," she corrected.

"Okay, yeah, but what kind of a name is that?"

"No clue."

We continued on our way through the narrow hall until it opened up into a large room, packed with shouting bodies holding crumpled money up high. I made my way across the dirt floor to the ring. It wasn't anything fancy, just a crudely drawn, spray painted circle. I met up with the ref, who really didn't have a job other than telling who's up next, declaring the winner, and keeping the fighters inside the circle. That last job he has isn't really necessary. All the people stand up against the ring, as close as they'd dare, ready to shove the person who gets thrown to the side back into the center.

"Oi, ref!" called Ellie over the noise. He turned around and they talked a bit, Ellie gesturing madly towards me, who was standing, weight on one leg and head looking off to the side with an almost bored expression on my face. He took a look at me and grinned.

"Eve! How are ya?" he asked in his Brooklyn accent.

"Okay. Now am I gonna fight or what?" I asked. I was in the zone. Nothing could stop me. When I'm around the Lost Souls, I'm calm and easy going. Around here, though, was a different story. This was _my _world, now. I was almost a different person. I craved for a good fight. I craved for blood.

"You wanna go first?" he asked. I considered the pros and cons to it. I wanted second or first, 'cause then I could get the heck outta dodge. If I went first, everybody would recognize me right away. Sure, they might bet on me, but they wouldn't bet much. If I went second, people would be drunk off of victory from the previous match and be a bit reckless, or they'd be angry with their loss and desperate for redemption. They could also be cautious, but these are street fighters we're talking about.

"Naw, ref. I'll just go second," I decided.

"Alrighty, Eve," he smiled, writing things down on his clipboard. He announced who would be going when, and when he got to the second round fighters, people stopped and quickly silenced.

"-and for the second round, the veteran versus the newbie, Eve of the Last Era versus Captain Terooor!" he shouted with a grand sweep of his arm. All of a sudden, all eyes were on me. Well, me and the new guy.

The new guy looked tough. Operative word, _looked_. You should never underestimate your opponents, but overestimating them may be just as dangerous. He was buff, and obviously pumped to the brim with steroids. He wore some get up like he was in some fool's idea of a pro wrestling competition. Captain Teror, indeed. He seemed to be wearing what looked to be a Speedo, a wrestling mask, and a cape. He even wore those stupid boots. What was indeed a, er, "teror" was the fact that it was all in bright blue, outlined in a squeaky clean white.

"Dude, did Captain America have a liter too much ugly or what?" muttered Ellie.

I just smirked. "Oh, this b*tch is going down."

The ref finished up announcing all ten rounds, and people began to place bets. Ellie opened up her bag to collect, and all of a sudden she gasped.

"Uh.. Ec- I mean, Eve?" she asked.

"Yeah, Els?"

"We got a problem," she said, holding up two... kittens. Fire and Masky.

"What the heck?" I exclaimed, snatching up the two cats. "What're you two doing here?" I asked, pointing an accusing finger at them. Masky just meowed pitifully and Fire stared me in the eye. "It's dangerous here," I said, hugging the cats close.

"Eve, you're up next, so I'll just hold the cats while you fight," she offered, one hand holding the bag out to collect bets, the other holding out my helmet to put the cats in.

"Ugh, alright. But I'll hold them until I have to go," I decided quickly. She nodded, then put down the helmet to continue collecting money with the bag.

Now you might be wondering why I bring Ellie with me to these kinds of things. Well, sure she's immature at home, but here? She was serious. And a serious Ellie is something to fear. There's also the major factor that she's the _interrogator._ She can read people like books. Ellie may be young, but she's the best at reading people. Which is also why I never play poker with her.

I sat on a folding chair, watching the match and absentmindedly petting the cats. I was scratching Fire behind his ear with one finger when Captain Fashion Disaster decided he'd have his hand at scaring me out of the match.

"Hey, chick," he said with a deep "tough guy" voice. "You'd best back down from the match. I'll pulverize a weak little girl like you."

There are three ways to make me angry. Insult me. Take what is mine. Threaten to hurt my friends. Strike one.

I simply raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, I prefer to only engage in witty banter. And it's hard to have a battle of wits when only one of us has them."

He growled at me. _Obviously easy to anger. _I thought. _What an idiot. _Of course, I was steaming quietly. I hated being called weak because of my gender. But was I going to let him know that he pissed me off? Heck to the no.

"Well, little b*tch, petting cats before the match. I guess you like cats, don't you?" Was this guy serious? This was just pathetic! Then he did the unthinkable. He made me snap. That little b*stard.

He reached out and grabbed Fire, making him yowl in fear.

Strike two.

"Well, after I'm done with this little f*cker, I'll deal with you. After that, I'll deal with your little pink haired friend."

Strike three. It's very rare to see me angry, but right now? I was in my homeland. The scent of blood from the fight going on behind me set my nerves on edge. He pushed all my buttons. There are several excuses I could use. But I really, truthfully, have no idea what brought on what happened next.

I felt myself glance towards Ellie. One glance was all it took.

My eyes flashed and I all I saw was red. I don't really remember what happened, but all I knew at the time was _This douchepants is going to bleedbleedbleed._

Later that week Ellie told me that he had taken the cat as soon as the first match ended and I sat there for a second. Only a second, but it seemed to stretch into an hour. Not moving. Not saying anything. Not reacting in the slightest. Then I _moved. _I had grabbed him and shoved him into the ring, jumping in after him in one swift, fluid motion. Ellie said that my eyes... she said they were different.

"Different how?" I asked.

"Angrier. So, so alive, but so, so angry," she replied.

Anyways, I was on him in an instant. I'd high-kicked his arm, forcing him to drop Fire. I swept my kitten out of the air and gently placed him in Ellie's hands, not taking my eyes off of Captain Six-Feet-Under. I slowly stalked towards him, my movements unusually fluent, almost like I was dancing. Then I struck. I gave him a clean uppercut, and as he was stunned, I'd given him several jabs. Els said she couldn't even see my hands. And, as quickly as I had started, I had stopped. So had Teror. He coughed up blood. So much blood. Then he fell over.

At this point I had regained consciousness, just... standing there. Imagine it. Somebody threatens your life. Your friend's life. Takes what is yours. And all of a sudden... nothing. Just _redredred _and the feeling of _bloodbloodblood _against my hands. My face. My clothes. _MyhandsmyhandsmyhandsandohmyGodmyhands _so much _bloodbloodblood_.

Memories smashed into my face, pelting against me like hail on a window. They weren't clear, they were just... feelings. I had wanted his pain. I had wanted his blood. I had wanted his _death_. And all of a sudden I was scared. I was so, so scared. And I felt so, so small. I was a little girl again. Out on the streets. Nowhere to run. No one to turn to.

I wasn't scared of anything... real. Or material. The thing, or things, plural, I feared were the things I couldn't touch. I was afraid of the feeling. The feeling of red, the feeling of blood on my _handshandshands... _the feeling of _bloodlust. _It was actually the first time I had wanted someone dead. I had killed before, sure. But... I wasn't in control this time. I wasn't in control. I could usually control myself just fine. But this time... I don't know. I felt a... a tug. It seemed so familiar. It felt like _life_. There was another one. It felt like life, sure, but it was also... madness. It was chaos. It was _demonic._ And it filled me; it flowed like water through my veins. It made me stronger. Faster. Better. But- it wasn't me. It didn't _belong _to me. It didn't _feel _like it was mine. Yet I had it.

I stood there in the ring, my eyes wide and fearful. I was declared winner, I had heard the ref announce it, but it was all muffled. All I could do was stand there and stare at my _handshandshands_. I wouldn't be turned in. Street fighting here meant no rules. But that didn't matter. I hadn't lost, but I _was _lost.

I vaguely felt Ellie leading me away. She told Marcus I couldn't drive and he nodded. He drove my bike out of the city, but this time, the lights didn't feel so enchanting. They seemed to follow me, haunting me, asking me a question. It was a question even I didn't know the answer to. Ellie had him drop us off a mile away from the base, and she just walked my bike, leading me back home. Flame and Masky stared at me with interest, peeking their heads out of Ellie's bag. I unconsciously starting humming a song from one of my memories, and soon that humming turned into soft singing.

**"Tonight" written by Tsunku**

**Used in Remix 3 in Rhythm Heaven Fever [3]**

_Shiverin' cold on a big city night,_

_Well, that's just how you found me way back then_

_And in a startled blink of an eye_

_I knew my life was forever changed_

_Walkin' on a highwire_

_And if that's how life's gonna be_

_Then I should have all the fun I can_

_Yeah that's a lot more like me_

_Tonight' the night right here, right now I swear_

_I'll walk into the future without a care, yea-ah_

_Tonight when all my tears have come and gone_

_I'll say goodbye to yesterday's sad songs, yea-ah_

_And there may come a time, when I will hesitate_

_But waiting's part of life now_

_Tonight's the night, please hear me out to the end_

_Could you please be the one, my carefree friend, yea-ah_

_Tonight I need my dreams to all come true,_

_Please tell me if that sounds like a plan to you, yea-ah_

_I know it may sound, too simple to be true_

_But hey, well, that's life, too_

_But hey, well, that's life, too_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person's P.O.V.**

Eleanor smiled at her Leader's soft singing. The two cats appeared to listen attentively, while their thoughts were elsewhere. When that girl, Echo, was fighting, they had felt a major chakra spike, similar to that of a tailed beast's.

This question ran through the entire group's mind, even Echo's own: Just who was she?

* * *

**[1] The Forest of Ivy. In Spanish. Because I like Spanish. I think it's a terrific language.**

**[2] Maximum Ride reference! High five! Anyone? Eh? Eh? No? … okay...**

**[3] I DO NOT OWN. It's a Rhythm Heaven Fever thing. I'm kind of obsessed with it as of now.**


	5. Chapter 5: In Which Nothing Much Happens

**A/N: I feel like I haven't done enough with Apollo. What say you?**

**Chapter Five: **

**In Which Not Much Happens**

**Echo's P.O.V.**

Ellie finally led me back to the base. It was nearly two thirty in the morning, and I was still trying to wrap my head around the five w's and the h.

What just happened?

Where did that power surge come from?

When did I get so strong?

Why me? Why do _I _have this power?

… Who... who am I?

_HOW?!_

After Ellie parked my motorcycle in the garage, she came back and we entered through the bear cave, activating the auto-scan code. The camera automatically took a picture of Ellie's face and mine, then scanned our eyes. The door opened and Els guided me to my room, gently, as if she was afraid I would break.

I gave her a nervous smile and she gave a tentative one back. She gave me some privacy while I changed into some pajamas (it was actually just some short shorts and an oversized t-shirt). When I was done, she helped me comb out my hair. Ellie was always the one I could count on for any problem, even though she was younger than me.

"Sorry for giving you all this trouble," I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"It's fine, no problem, really. I like seeing this side of you. I guess it just goes to show, we're all human," she said, patiently untangling a particularly stubborn know with her fingers.

When she was done, she wished me goodnight and left. I fell face down onto my bed. The euphoria of the fighting atmosphere was gone, and I was (mostly) back to being me.

I groaned loudly into my pillow in frustration. What the heck had happened back there? I sat up on my bed a bit to meditate, when I noticed that Ellie had accidentally left her bag. I leaned over, grabbed it, and opened it up to see that Ellie had already emptied it. Or, emptied it of the winnings. Ellie left the kittens in there.

I lifted the cats out and placed them on the bed, putting the bag back on my night stand. Fire sat next to my knee, and Masky ran around me a few times, meowing obnoxiously. I picked him up and rubbed him against my face, mentally squealing at his cuteness. Cute things always cheered me up. Ellie was looking out for me without even realizing it. I gave Masky one last squeeze, put him back on the bed, and asked Fire to keep him quiet.

I pulled out a box from my drawer. I popped the latch and took out about a dozen pill bottles. After putting them neatly in a line, I tipped two or three of each pill in my hand, mumbling to myself as I did. "Anxiety, insomnia, PTSD, more insomnia, aw, heck, I can't even remember what this one is_._" I took the pills dry and almost gagged. Taking meds sucks, especially when you have to take them a handful at a time.

With the meds out of the way, I sat cross-legged in the center of my bed. Breathe in. Breathe out. I held my hands in a weird position: usagi, the hare, for balance. I closed my eyes and shut down all my thoughts, focusing on just... being. After that I shut down all my senses. Sight. Taste. Smell. Touch. Sound.

I felt the power again. Sitting right in the middle of my stomach. It felt like it was curled up in a little ball, right next to a larger ball. All... weird. Natural, but... not. It's like riding somebody else's bicycle. It's natural, you've been doing it all your life, but the seat was too high, the handle bars to low, and they had foot brakes instead of handle brakes.

Whenever I imagine it, I would have to say that it was like a tiny, blue water balloon filled with blue syrup sitting next to a big, red water balloon filled with red syrup. I considered the red one, but I felt the terrifyingly familiar _redredredandohGodnononono._ I shook off the feeling and went back to concentrating. _No more of that, Echo. Focus. You need to focus. _I thought. Then I thought, _Why did I think in the third person? That's so weird._

I tapped into the blue one and it leaked, the proverbial syrup trickling out a bit. So you know what I did? Yep. I decided to screw around with it. Ladies and gentlemen, we have long since passed the line of decency. So let's keep going and see what happens!

I tried to spread it thin, like a string, but it snapped and fizzled out. I tried to think of the energy as bubbles, coming up in short bursts, but it felt... not right. Like farting with my hands. Gross analogy, but accurate enough. I tried a couple other odd things, but after a while I ended up deciding to do something simple. I spun it around in the center of my stomach, clockwise, then counter clockwise. After I got a hold of moving it around, I thought of it as water. I had the energy spread out from the balloon, the smaller streams connecting into two, larger rivers that pooled into each hand.

I opened my eyes and _wow. _My hands were coated in the stuff, glowing a soft baby blue. I stared, entranced with the color. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the cats looking at each other and meowing, almost like they were having a conversation. I turned my head to look at them fully and- nothing. The light was gone.

"Dammit," I whispered. Then I swayed. I was hit with a wave of fatigue. The fight, the meds, and just the general need for sleep never tired me out so easily. It usually took me at least two hours to fall asleep, and even then I tend to go two-ish days without rest, hence the insomnia pills (that didn't actually do jack).

But I was so... so sleepy... I flopped down on my bed and allowed the darkness to overtake me.

* * *

I woke up covered in cats. And when I say "covered in cats," I mean absolutely _swimming _in them. Like, there were all ten kits laying all over my bed and my floor, and my pillow had been replaced by Aurum. His sister lion, Argentum, was curled up at my side while most of the kittens were laying across me like a blanket of warm, purring fluff. Jashin was on my chest, Blue was curled up next to my shoulder, Fire was in the crook of my arm, Audrey was in an isolated corner of my floor, Masky was lying across my neck like a scarf, and Frank was under my bed. Some of them (God, Tenshi, and Hemlock) were at the foot of my bed, and Blast was lying down on the floor with my third and last lion, Leos.

"Aw..." I heard from the doorway. "You're covered in kitties!" I nudged Masky off and raised my head to see Angel with a Starbucks coffee. She skipped over to my bed and smiled. "You sleeped last night!" she said as I sipped my coffee.

"Thank you, sweetie. And it's slept, not 'sleeped'." I corrected her gently. "Oh, coffee. How I love you. You really are an angel, Princess," I sighed as I sipped my cup of awesome.

Angel giggled a bit and I sat up, stretching. Most cats protested weakly before going back to sleep, but Masky, Tenshi, Fire and God blinked a few times before stretching along with me and joining me on my trip to the kitchen.

I walked into the lounge to see everybody already up and dressed. "What're all you guys doing up so early?" I asked, collapsing on the couch with my cup o' joe and swiping a newspaper off of the coffee table.

"Early?" asked Apollo. "It's nearly noon, Leader."I raised an eyebrow and checked the clock on the TV. 11:47 AM.

"Nearly noon is still early. I usually sleep until three in the afternoon!" said Kaze. He went unnoticed, though.

"Oh, wait, what? I never sleep that long!" I exclaimed.

"Well, apparently you did," said Ellie. "Especially considering how the job went last night."

I gave her a slightly panicked look, and she winked.

"Really? What happened, onee-chan?" asked Angel.

"Ah, nothing much. We had a runner," she said nonchalantly. And just like that, Ellie and I had a silent agreement. We still wouldn't be telling the others about the street fighting, and nobody needs to know about the weird power surge.

"Anyhow, Artemis, did you make breakfast?" I asked.

"Eeyup. I fed the cats, too, and I saved some for you, so don't worry about it, Boss," she said. Some people would be worried about whether or not she would poison the food, being a potions master and all, but she was as proficient in poisons as she was with ingredients. She was also very good with herbal remedies and made a fabulous tea.

"Thanks, Artemis. You're a life saver," I nodded before heading to the kitchen. I pulled up a stool and dug into the waffles she had left for me on the island. Jashin strolled up and meowed at me, making his eyes big and cute.

"Not today," I said. "I'm hungry and _not _a morning person." He made his eyes bigger and sat on his hind paws, slightly reaching up with one of his fore paws and meowing pathetically.

"Mm-mm. Nope. Not gonna work," I shook my head. He tipped his head a little to the left, and before he could do more and make me break, I shoveled the waffles into my mouth, chugged my coffee, and ran.

I hid in the safety that was my office and sat in my fancy leather spin-y chair, squaring up my papers. "Okay, so this pile is bills, these are missions, and these are funds. Oh, good God." I sighed before clicking my pen.

* * *

"Freedom!" I almost shouted as I put away the last of the papers. Now, most people would _never _be done with this amount of paperwork, but Apollo and Artemis helped me, so I divide it 3/5 for me, 1/5 for each of them. I get done almost twice as fast. I closed the file cabinet, closed the safe, closed the _other _safe, locked all seven locks, turned on the lasers, pushed the button that closes the solid titanium wall, closed the wall, and pushed the painting back in place. Done.

…

So what if I'm a bit paranoid?

I jogged out of my office, changed into my casual clothes, and went through the auditorium to get to the Training Room. And yes, our base is huge enough to have a training room, several offices, several bedrooms (with a complete bathroom in each), a small prison, a dozen interrogation rooms, a swimming pool, a living room, a high-tech kitchen, a multi-purpose room (usually what I use for homeschooling Angel), a music room, an explosion room (for Blare), and an auditorium that doubles as a cinema. Long story short, we had found out how to hack and win the lottery, plus all the looting and payments from jobs and (in my case) street fighting. And the fact that we don't get bills or have to pay rent. That's the good thing about pumping our own water and making our own electricity.

I was almost halfway across the auditorium when I stopped. Walked back exactly ten paces. And did a double take. "What?"

"Echo! There you are! It's the last Friday of the month. And do you know what that means?" shouted Blare and Ellie from the stage.

I pulled a calendar from out of nowhere and checked. Yup. It was- "KARAOKE NIGHT!" squealed all the girls. Minus Artemins, plus Kaze. Oh, dear God, help us all.

The cats were all sitting in their own seats, front row, next to Apollo and Artemis, who weren't participating in this event.

"Um, yeah, guys, I might just sit this one out. I haven't done any training in three days and I really gotta-"

"Nonsensical nonsense, my dear boss! Come and join us on the stage!" said Ellie as she dragged me with inhuman strength to the stage.

"Um, how about no?" I tried to dig my heels into the ground, but alas, my choice all those eight years ago to put hardwood flooring in this room came back to kick me in the butt.

"Oh, come on, Echo! We'll play the music, all you gotta do is sing with us! You can sing!" she said, grinning like she totally wasn't dragging somebody five years her superior onto a stage.

"Er, can I not?" I pleaded a bit.

"Echo, you haven't sang with us in so long!" Ellie said, talking as if I hadn't said anything. I weakly protested and dragged my feet, but Ellie kept pulling me along. If I really wanted to, I could've easily tripped her and made a run for it, but I guess I didn't really want to. I sometimes hate how Els knows so easily what I really want.

"Echo, my beautiful boss lady! Come on up!" said Kaze on the mic.

"Okay, now who let Kaze near anything electronic?" I asked/shouted towards Blare and Artemis.

"Don't worry, now, Leader. I had that microphone specially designed by Apollo and I. It's water proof, fire proof, explosion proof, and penguin proof. There's no way we're going to be having a repeat of last month's incident," assured Artemis.

"Are you certain it's penguin proof?" I asked, just to be safe.

"Leader, are you doubting our abilities?" Apollo and Artemis asked in sync, the light reflecting brightly off of their glasses so that I couldn't see their eyes. Those creepy, blue-headed Kyoya Ootori clones.

"No, I just don't want to clean up a half-digested combination of miscellaneous fish and krill," I said, still leaning back and giving at least a slight effort to fight Ellie.

"Sooooon the spooooons will cooooome to the mooooon!" said Kaze through the mic as he tried out all the different settings on the new microphone.

Quickly enough, Ellie had ended up swinging me over her shoulder to carry me up the steps of the stage like I was a sack of potatoes. Now, I only let people who I trust make physical contact with me, and the only physical contact I will allow of me against a stranger is my fist against their face. The small circle of who I trust includes as follows: the entire Lost Souls, occasionally Marcus, and... that's about it. Other than that it's a complete haphephobia spaz attack that ends up with me beating the daylights out of the one who touched me. Unless it's a little kid or something equally cute.

"And here we are! It wasn't that hard, now was it?" asked Els as she set me down in front of the mic. I, naturally, made a break for it, but Kaze materialized in front of me and pushed me back.

"C'mon, Boss. Sing a little. Here, I'll go first," he offered, having me sit on the floor of the stage where I stiffly tuned my acoustic guitar. Blare started in on the bass line for some obscure anime song, Ellie joined with her drum set, Angel giggled and started playing a tambourine, and Kaze sang.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G

…. (Kaze had to take a moment to remember the lyrics)

HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE!

We all either slowly applauded in shock and awe at his lack of pitch, or face palmed at his extravagant bows. "Thank you! Thank you! I rock! I know!" Then he jumped off the stage and sat down in one of the seats, almost accidentally sitting on Jashin, who yowled and noisily attacked his face. Kaze struggled to detach the cat without hurting it, and ended up just grabbing his scruff and pulling.

After half a minute Artemis got bored, pointed a syringe at the cat, and said, "Hello, kitty. Would you like to see what this poison does? I know I would." Cue her maniacal grin and laughter. Jashin froze and, no sudden movements, sheathed his claws and slowly hid behind Kaze, who, in turn, hid behind his seat.

"Mommyyyyyyyy!" he whined like a little kid. "Arty is pointing untested poisons at me agaaaiiiin!"

"Well, I guess you shouldn't have made her angry, hm?" I said in my patient mother voice.

"But she started iiiiiiiit!" he whined.

"Kaze," I warned. "What should you do?"

"I should apologize..." he looked down.

"That's right."

"But I don't wannaaaaaa! She started it!"

"Kaze, sweetie."

"Fine. If you won't see it my way, I'm telling on Daddy!" he whined.

"Daaaddyyy!" he whined again. I had no idea a (physically) grown man already past puberty could hit a note so high.

"Who's 'Daddy'?" asked the twins.

"Based on this organization's position, I'm guessing it's me," Blare pinched the bridge of her nose and snapped her music binder shut.

Oh, wow. Deja vu. [1]

Ten minutes later of Kaze whining, Blare grabbing a music stand and smashing it on his head, and the twins pointing untested weapons at the both of them for being so loud ("'Too loud?' Well, what were you two expecting when you decided to come to karaoke night?"), I managed to sneak away to the training room.

I let out a sigh of relief when I reached the training room. "Hoo, finally safe," I breathed. I felt like I was being watched, so I walked forward like nothing was happening, then- "HA!" I shouted as I pointed at...

…

…

…

nothing. God dammit.

I refused to assume it was just nothing, unlike the stupid victims in horror movies, but I instead decided to ignore it until he/she/they decide to come out. So, to kill the silence, I went to the boom box against the wall next to the water fountain and played some DimRain47 music.

After stretching a bit, I chalked up my hands, wrapping them in bandages. After a few warm ups, I took a running start and did a complex series of flips before making a perfect landing in front of the edge of the room where there was a track. A hundred sit ups and push ups later, I put on my boxing gloves, taking quite a bit of anger out on a high-tech punching bag I had Apollo make that just. Didn't. Break. Then I hit the Never-Ending-Obstacle-Course (of Doom).

I set it on high (the setting right below the skull and crossbones) and set it so it would stop after twenty minutes. I stood on the conveyor belt and started off slow. Run... Jump... Duck... Roll... Dive... Climb... It was actually pretty easy. Then I hit the five-minute mark and stuff started going crazy. Run. Jump. Jump. Climb. Jump. Duck. Run. Sprint. Balance. Dive. And then I hit the ten minute mark. RunjumpslidejumprunrunduckdiveclimbduckandOHMYGODAPOLLOREALLYDIDINSTALLAFLAMETHROWERHOLYCRAP! [2]

I ducked, barely managing the flamethrowers before the Never-Ending-Obstacle-Course-of-Doom finally stopped and I dove into the water to extinguish any flames in my hair. I hauled myself over the side and lay on my back, staring at the florescent lights. After catching my breath I rolled into a sitting position to see I had an audience. The cats were stalking me all along. Oh. I guess I should've known.

Most of the cats minus the stoic ones like God, Hemlock, and Fire were all open-mouthed. I mentally compared their faces to OMG cat. I stared back at them and said the first thing that came to mind.

"What're you all looking at?"

**[1] OHSHC reference. Anyone? Eh? Eh? Yes? No? Maybe so?**

**[2] Just in case you couldn't read it: run, jump, slide, jump, run, run, duck, dive, climb, duck, and OH MY GOD APOLLO REALLY DID INSTALL A FLAMETHROWER HOLY CRAP!**


	6. Chapter 6: Echo, I Blew Up the Kittens

**A/N: Fun fact: I enjoyed writing this chapter, 'cause I got the Asuma-sensei feels and decided to beat the snot outta Hidan.**

**Sorry for not updating, I got sick. I hate being sick with a passion.**

**So, yeah, there were quite a few errors in my last two chapters 'cuz my brother wasn't there to proof-read it so I went ahead and fixed those. There might also be a few errors in this chappie, 'cause I have some pretty turrible speeelling grammars and. (j/k, j/k)**

**I'm also starting on another story. Already thirty-two pages in, but I still refuse to post it until I've re-written it. I have to de-Mary-Sue-ify my OC. Thanks for the reviews, guys!**

**Chapter IDEK I think it's like Six or Something:**

**Echo, I Blew Up the Kittens**

**Echo's P.O.V.**

"Leader to team, attention, team," I said, my voice coming out a little fuzzy on the speakers. "Please report to the lounge for the weekly meeting. Over."  
After the whole "cats stalk me in the Training Room" incident, I was found, dragged back to Karaoke Night where I narrowly avoided singing, and went to my room. After that I took my meds, messed around a bit with the energy, and promptly fell asleep. Twice in two nights. I haven't slept like that in forever.  
I had finished up today's paperwork (which took flippin' forever. The government secretly funds us, but if we get in trouble, they pretend they don't know us. And so funding us isn't too obvious, everything they send us is in triple code, and even then it's still only coordinates. After that I have to send Kaze and Blare on a scavenger hunt to dig up the money. Like, can't they just send us some cash in a paper baggie? But I digress.), and now I was just playing with the security system while Angel quietly played with the cats and a few of her rats in the corner of my office.  
"Angel, let's go!" I called, getting on my lion and riding him like a horse. Hey, Aurum was big enough to, and I was lazy. And I didn't want to train a horse.  
"Okay!" said Angel, gathering up a few cats in her arms while the rats climbed onto her shoulders and head. We made it to the lounge and I was greeted with the usual "Hai!" and salute.  
"Lost Souls, it's a Saturday. You know what that means?" I said with authority.  
"Meeting, ma'am!" they called. I loved making them do things.  
"At ease!" I barked. They relaxed and we took seats at the coffee table. Kaze propped his feet up and Apollo, without looking up from his book, pointed a small, sci-fi type gun at Kaze's foot. Kaze slowly put his feet back on the ground and sat like a proper citizen.  
"So, anything new?" I asked.  
Apollo put his book down and began his spiel. Most of us zoned out his science-y talk. Those guys were fighters, not thinkers.  
"-and so, I finished up the secret passage ways, adding a new room to the bunker." he finished. Most of the cats had fallen asleep, Kaze and Ellie were in the middle of an intense game of sticks.  
He cleared his throat and nothing happened.  
Then he picked up his sci-fi gun and the barrel suddenly expanded, making it look really intimidating and pretty bad*ss. It loaded with a high pitched keen-ing sound, and everybody suddenly looked at it, gulped, and very quickly began clapping.  
"Okay, then. Any remarks?" I asked.  
"Um, yeah," Kaze raised his hand. Oh, please, no. "What the heck is up with the bear cave? I mean, the rabbit thing is a bit much, dontcha think?"  
Apollo's glasses flashed, and before things could get out of hand, I butted in. "Kaze, Apollo knows what he's doing. Since the new fake rabbits were installed, there have been less teenagers daring each other to go in. We don't have to send Ellie's bears in anymore to scare 'em off."  
The cats stared at us wide-eyed at the mention of bears. I could almost hear their thoughts. _First lions, then monkeys, now bears? What is with these people?_  
Weird cats.  
Blare began talking about how she finally finished the "big surprise" for our birthdays (yes, we all celebrate our birthdays on the same day. We don't really know when we were born, so we all guessed on the ages and have what we call a "Birthday Day" on November seventeenth, which is also the organization's anniversary). Kaze bragged about his new record on what we have recently re-named the Never-Ending-Obstacle-Course-of-Doom-and-Firey-Deaths. Angel talked about how she almost finished her Transformers coloring book (I made a mental note to get a new one later). Ellie said something about how she found a new way of interrogation that gives her bears more to do, and when it was Artemis' turn, she just grinned and laughed evilly. That poor, damned test subject.  
I finally stood up and made the big announcement. "Lost Souls, as of today, we're all on vacation for the rest of the month!" I was met by a bunch of disbelieving faces.  
"On vacation? What does that even mean when you're a group of deranged, bounty-hunting, merry band of misfit orphans?" asked Artemis.  
"It means, unless you want to, no missions, no projects, and best of all, no paperwork," I clarified. Now there were cheers all around.  
"Woohoo!"  
"Aw, yeah!"  
"Does this mean I get off of school, too?" asked Angel.  
"No. But everybody will be here instead of off on missions, so you can play with them more," I ruffled her hair.  
"Yay!"  
"Alright! Let's go celebrate in the new bunker room!" Kaze cheered. Then he stopped and turned to Apollo.  
"I-if it's okay with you, that is," Kaze nervously stuttered.  
"I don't see why not," sighed Apollo, putting his space gun on the couch.

"Okay, then! We'll all throw a party! Few rules, though: no alcohol, no testing new guns on Kaze or putting poisons in Kaze's drink," Apollo and Artemis visibly sagged. "and, absolutely, under _any _circumstances, are you all allowed to set the new bunker on fire. Am I clear?" I asked. Everybody nodded and Ellie ran off to get her quote-en-quote "Pinkie Pie Party Cannon", while Blare went out to get her tricked out amp she dubbed her Bass Cannon.

…

I live in a house of many fandoms.

"Okay, Angel, follow meeee!" Kaze skipped away to decorate the bunker, Angel following to help him blow up balloons or something. Apollo tucked his book into his pocket and pulled out a cloth, polishing his giant space gun. And you wonder why my criminal group is made entirely of single Pringle virgins. _All the boys around here are either insane or trigger happy._

I just sighed and went to Ellie's room to help her carry her party stuff.

Ellie's room is just down the hall from mine, and it's pretty intimidating. Well, to me, anyways. It's a bright, hot pink, with florescent lights right over the door- but that's it for lighting. It's all bubbly and happy as soon as you step in, with flowers and unicorns and cotton candy, but the further you go down, the darker it gets. The darker it gets, the scarier the things in her room. She keeps all her T&I stuff in here, and it's all out in the open. Ellie refuses to put her stuff in a closet.

At the very back is where she keeps her bears, Major, Minor, and Malice. Major is the mama bear, Minor is still just a cub, and Malice? He's just plain terrifying. But they're all real sweethearts once you get to know 'em.

"Els? You need any help in here?" I called, holding the door frame and keeping away from what I like to call Ellie's "Dark Side."

"Yeah! You can take these, and these, and these, and-" she went on and on, bringing a huge pile of stuff and putting it in my arms. Soon I was covered in streamers, balloons, and, of course, snacks.

"Whoa, Els, calm down. Just put it all in a bag," I said, dumping my armload of party stuff into a black trash bag.

"Oh... haha, I knew that!" she smiled again and wheeled out her Party Cannon. It was a cannon (no duh), but it shot out confetti, streamers, a few pieces of cake (when it was filled), and the occasional odd, deadly, disposable spork.

"Let's go, Echo!" she said before gagging at her unintentional rhyme. She lead her bears and I away.

"Alrighty, kiddo," I said, lugging the huge bag over my shoulder and going to a dead-end hall with a book shelf.

The cats peered over a corner at us and I watched them follow. _Well, well. _I thought._ I _do_ enjoy impressing others._

With a smirk at the cats I looked through the books on the shelf before putting my hand on one that read, "How To Install A Secret Door," by A. Pollo Issot. How vain can he get?

I pulled the book and the shelf moved to the side, revealing a panel. Apollo came over, finished with doing whatever he does in his free time, and decided to brag.

"Just put your hand on the panel. I have a whole bunch of sensors on it, and it only reacts to our members. It also detects heat and pulse, so you can't even chop off one of our hands and put it against the sensors," he bragged.

"Nicely done, Apollo. Keep up the work and I might raise your yearly budget," I said while Apollo smirked triumphantly. From him, it was the equivalent of a fist pump and a yell.

We went inside to set everything up.

The bunker was pretty huge. It was a large, empty space, much like a ball room. There were about a dozen other secret passageways leading to other places, and that was only the dozen we'd been informed of.

There was also a second level, though the ball room went all the way to the top and the second floor only went around the room. It could be easily seen due to the lack of wall, and several banisters in their stead. We do enjoy our open spaces in the Lost Souls. Plus, it also gives us open spaces of wall that don't look at all out of place, when in actuality they're wired and sometimes hide weapons and doors.

"Be careful with the streamers," Apollo warned. "Nothing here is perfectly stable yet, so-" he was cut off by Kaze falling from the ceiling.

"Whoops! That was fun!" he grinned before turning around to see Apollo frozen, staring at him.

"How did you not die from that fall?" Apollo asked.

"I filled my shirt with marshmallows," Kaze said simply before tugging off his over shirt and showing off the squished marshmallows that were now stuck to his back.

Ellie and I just stared for a second before walking away. "Never give marshmallows to Kaze," I instructed her.

"Yes, ma'am," she nodded stiffly.

Soon Blare and Artemis showed up, wheeling in tables and a Bass Cannon. Both the Bass Cannon and the Pinkie Pie Party Cannon were made by Artemis and Apollo. Blare and Ellie were sure to use the three B's when asking the twins to build them- Begging, Bribery, Blackmail. The final B is what worked, though.

Angel was sitting happily on the Bass Cannon, swinging her legs over the side and playing with her rats. The cats joined her, sitting on top of the ridiculously tall amp and watching everybody hang up decorations.

Then something went wrong. A beam fell from the ceiling, right above the Bass Cannon- and Angel.

Everything seemed to slow down around me. _My baby Angel was in trouble._

I charged forward with insane speed, reaching out to my baby Angel, hoping to get there in time to shield her from the falling beam. I felt the horribly familiar tug of energy, but it wasn't the crazed one, thankfully. It was a good kind of energy, one that flowed and ran through my blood like adrenaline, making my movements faster, faster, _faster. _I realized I was still too slow to grab Angel and run, but I was just fast enough to cover her. I filled my entire body with energy, the way I'd been doing for the past two nights, and leaped towards her, easily jumping over the amplifier.

I grabbed a hold of Angel, hugging her close and putting my body over her's to block her from the falling metal. She hugged her cats and rats (**Ew, gross, a rhyme**) and I ended up holding them as well. Then- _POOF_.

**Blare's P.O.V.**

I'm not entirely sure what happened. I saw the beam. Saw Boss panic. Saw her right next to me, then teleport or something next to Angel. And then- _POOF_. There was an explosion of some kind, and the falling support beam was knocked away.

Then, all of a sudden, the cats were gone and nine smokin' hot guys plus one chick were standing there. In Akatsuki robes. Oh, sh*t.

Echo was safe, and so was Angel. She was up in an instant, literally _chucking _Angel to Apollo. He nodded and ran up the stairs to the second level, putting Angel in a secret passageway and telling her to do something.

"Everybody, scatter!" Echo ordered. She was in the zone, what we call her "Drill Sargent" mode.

We obeyed and ran, all going for different passages. I saw the Pein dude saying something, but it looked like his troops were dazed and confused. Good. I heard on the loudspeakers, "Leader to team, attention, team. We have a code Crimson Delta Two, I repeat, a code Crimson Delta Two."

_Oh. Crimson. This is going to be good. _I thought.

Our codes are like this- Crimson. It means they are a possible threat and we should get our sh*t together and haul out. Violet is the lowest on this scale. It means we should just run and leave no trace.

Delta. Alpha means somebody died and we should return the favor, Beta is somebody got captured, Gamma means somebody was injured, and Delta means we're all unharmed.

Two. One is get the big guns and kill on sight, two is capture and interrogate. Fairly simple code once you get the hang of it.

I pressed a button and a screen popped up- the security camera. After quickly sweeping the room with my eyes and making sure all of our members were out, I pressed another button and the doors shut behind us, trapping the invaders inside.

I went to a closet and shut myself in, going down another hall where the others were (minus Angel, who was hiding, and the boys, who were in a separate changing room) changing into the uniforms quickly. The uniform was just black pants, dark grey long sleeve shirts, a bullet proof vest, the tool belt (which I always have on me. The tool belts are customizable. I fill mine with bombs, Techie with guns, Artemis with poisons, etc.), and a black motorcycle helmet with a tinted visor.

Echo was there as well, just putting on a bullet proof vest over her work clothes, slipping her helmet on, and adding several guns to her belt.

The others followed, grabbing a sniper rifle each and three spare clips.

We filed out at Echo's signal. Because the Lost Souls are very organized like that.

We went through a secret passageway on the top floor, meeting up with the boys and going to pre-assigned hiding places, taking aim with our guns.

Echo went through a trap door on the floor, closing it silently behind her and standing like a bad*ss. She flipped her visor up.

"Pardon me, boys, but I _do _believe you are in my base," she said, surprising the creepy cosplay group.

"I would appreciate it if you cooperated with me," Boss continued. "After all, my troops have locked onto you and are prepared to fire at will."

The cosplayers took notice of us in the rafters and behind walls, and we removed the safety of our guns just to intimidate them.

"What the f*ck? Yeah, like those pansy *ss tubes can do anything, b*tch," a silver haired idiot said.

"Oh, my," said Boss, unamused. She held down a button on the side of her helmet, "Looks like we got a Charlie Foxtrot on our hands. How I _do _love dealing with these kinds of problems. Warning shot, my position, three o'clock," she said, her voice coming through our helmets.

We all shot at the same time, at her three o'clock, right around the Hidan lookalike.

"Oh, sh*t!" he cussed, holding his hands over his bleeding right ear. Whoops. Looks like Ellie clipped him on "accident".

"We will listen," the Pein lookalike said in a perfect Pein impression. "If-" he began again.

"Warning shot at carrot-top over here," Echo cut him off, pressing the button again. We shot just over his head, and he visibly flinched.

"I don't thing you're in any position to be making demands, _Carrot-top._ If I were you, I'd just roll over like a good little doggy," Echo said.

Hidan lookalike seemed to recover from the hit. "Oh, you _b*tch_!" he shouted, charging at her. Echo put two fingers behind her back, a symbol for "Let me handle the b*stard."

She raised her arms like she was going to punch him, and he braced. Then she ducked. I could practically hear her thoughts- _Surprise, mother f*cker._ She snap kicked him in the chest, knocking the air out of him before whipping out her pistol, spinning it the way only a professional could. She smashed the barrel against his chest and met his gaze coldly. Without a word, she emptied the clip.

Echo could be pretty ruthless sometimes. We all could. Does that mean we like it? No. It just means we know how to survive.

Blood flew all over the brand-new tiled floor. I could hear Apollo sigh over the intercom. The poor guy. Apollo, I mean. Not that fakie Jashinist down there.

He groaned and started cussing like crazy again. "Oh, it appears you're still alive," she said like she wasn't at all surprised. I could tell she was wondering how the f*ck anybody could live through that. I mean, maybe Superman or Chuck Norris could, but this guy didn't look like Chuck Norris.

Then again, he _did _look like a certain immortal Jashinis- oh, holy f*ck.

I put my hand against my helmet and pressed the button rapidly, sending her morse code.

R-E-A-L-A-K-A-T-S-U-K-I-O-R-M-U-T-A-N-T-F-R-E-A-K

She put her hand against her helmet again and said, "Acknowledged," like a pro.

She looked at the flailing albino and said monotonously, "Look at you. Real fighter, that one. Oh,what a shame. I suppose I was wondering what this button did anyways," Echo flipped over a cover on the top of her gun. There was a button and a dial.

"According to Techie, those bullets that I just filled you with will dig deeper, like tiny little drills, ruining each and every one of your organs. The more I turn the dial, the more pain. You'll be nothing but mush and blood, as soon as I press this little. Black. Button." Boss stretched her words out, as if trying to simplify something for a small child.

"Now, beg," she ordered, putting the dial on the lowest setting, her finger hovering over the button.

"Hell no, f*cking heathen b*tch!" he shouted. Wrong answer.

She pressed the button. It was only the lowest setting, so nothing too gross. He spazzed a bit before shouting, "F*cking mercy! Mercy!" Echo pressed the button again and it stopped.

"Now, as I was saying," she flipped the cover back over the button and changed her clip, reloading her gun.

"Cooperation is key to your survival."

The (quite possibly real) Itachi looked a bit disgusted, but kept his stoic facade on. Kisame looked terrified, and Deidara was frozen in shock, Tobi shivering and hiding behind him. Kakuzu looked slightly interested, Zetsu was silent and hard to read. Sasori was impassive as ever, I don't think even Ellie would be able to read Pein, and Konan's eyes were a bit wide in horror.

"No sudden movements, or you'll be the next begging for mercy. Remember- we could kill you all fairly quickly, and I doubt all of you can take a bullet like Mr. Macho over here," she tipped her head towards Hidan. The Akatsuki (I will never get used to saying that) looked at each other and came to a silent agreement. It was all very subtle, but I'd be damned if Boss didn't catch it.

"Scout, cuff 'em," she said. Scout went over and cuffed them all, without protest. It was actually hard to tell who was who in these uniforms.

We came out of our positions, sliding down the pillars (like a boss!), and led the Akatsuki, who are _real, _BTW,down the the hallway. I fought the urge to pinch myself- that would be deemed unprofessional and Boss would make me do boring missions, like stalking people and stuff.

We brought them to the interrogation rooms and had them sit separately. The interrogation rooms were very basic: reinforced concrete with a concrete table coming out of the ground. As in- it was not added as an after thought. You can't move the table without breaking it. All of the rooms were lined up all neat and pretty, only on one side of the long hall. One of the walls had a large one-way wall. Not a one-way mirror, a _wall_. Apollo is a genius with camouflage. The rooms are sound proof, which is a given when it comes to interrogation rooms, and they all have security cameras and recording devices.

"Okay, so you guys should all know who is allowed to interrogate and who isn't," said Boss. Only a few are allowed to interrogate, and those are only ones who can scare people while keeping a straight face. Which is basically everybody except for Kaze. "I think these guys are the real Akatsuki, no joke, so NO SPOILERS. Ask them to find out which arc they were in. You guys know the drill for interrogations. Be very subtle about giving away information, but if you _do _give information away, be honest. Honesty is always our number one priority, and if you lie and they find out that you lied, they will disregard everything else. Are we clear?" she said.

"Hai!" we shouted the customary response.

"Alright! Ellie, you can get Konan and fish-man. Blare, you can get the terrorist. Apollo, you interrogate Kakuzu, and Artemis, you get Hidan. I'll take Weasel after I grab something from the office. Are we clear?"

"Hai!"

"Question, Leader," Artemis and Apollo raised their hands. "Who are we investigating?"

I inwardly groaned. This is what they get for not watching Shippuden with Echo and I.

"Artemis is getting the violent one that I shot, and Apollo, you are getting the one with Christmas eyes and a mask," she said. "Are we okay, now?"

"Hai, Leader," they responded.

"Let's clear out!"


	7. Chapter 7: Interrogation Time!

**A/N: Hello! I'm baaack! Now, in this chappie I might seem a bit P.O.V. crazy (so ashamed...), but that's just 'cause I wanted to show what went down in each of the interrogations. We cool? We cool. Fun facts are at the bottom.**

**Recap:**

"Alright! Ellie, you can get Konan and fish-man. Blare, you can get the terrorist. Apollo, you interrogate Kakuzu, and Artemis, you get Hidan. I'll take Weasel after I grab something from the office. Are we clear?"

"Hai!"

**Chapter I'm Pretty Sure It's Seven:**

**Interrogation Time! C'mon, Grab Your Friends!**

**Blare's P.O.V.**

I went to the first room, the one with a certain blond terrorist in it. Why Boss stuck me in there, I have no clue. Maybe 'cause I'm an epic pyrotechnician, just like this guy.

I grabbed two bottles of water from the mini fridge in the Interrogation Hall, just because in all the cop shows I've watched they have bottles of water for the interrogator and the interrogee. I think that's a word... right? I don't care.

"Hello, there. I'm the Pyro. And, no, I won't be giving you any other name to call me by, Blondie," I said, strolling into the room and closing the door behind me. "Want a water?" I tossed him a bottle.

He caught it with one hand.

"So, right now I don't know if you're lucky or unlucky to get me as your interrogator. I set things on _fire _in my free time, the main Interrogator is downright crazy, Medic is pretty sadistic, and Techie has many-a-threat up his sleeve. But then again, Boss is downright _brutal_, which kinda sucks for the black haired dude with the facial lines," I said, going by code names. I specifically made it look like Itachi was getting the short end of the stick, knowing Deidara's grudge against him.

I uncapped my bottle, setting my helmet on the table and taking a swig of water. Deidara just put his water bottle on the table, not bothering to drink any.

"First things first, I have to go through the boring stuff, 'kay?" I pulled out an index card and started reading aloud.

"'I, as a member of the unofficially named Lost Souls, have a responsibility to be completely honest with you, as is the code of our organization. I am to ask one question at a time, and you are not obliged to answer any of my questions, though it would be preferred if you did.' blah blah blah, 'strict moral conduct', blah blah blah. Pretty much, I ask you a question, then as soon as you answer it, you can ask me one. If we find out you're lying, we disregard any information you've given us and we can do some pretty gruesome stuff to you. I'm not allowed to lie, though, 'cause Boss doesn't like liars, but I am allowed to dodge your questions. We clear?" I crushed the index card and stuffed it into a pocket on my vest.

He said nothing, just stared me down. I stared back at him. We had a short staring contest until he blinked and I stood up and cheered. "Ha! I win!" He just looked at me funnily. I sat back down and looked at his hand.

He. Had. Hand mouths.

"Hey, Blondie," I said. He said nothing. "Blondie, gimme your hand," I told him. He kept staring, his eye twitching ever so slightly when I called him Blondie. Eventually I just sighed and grabbed his hand off the table, staring at the palm.

The mouth opened at the tongue stuck out. I poked it and it attempted to bite me.

I tried to stop the grin. I swear I did. But I eventually gave in and smiled like crazy.

"Okay, gonna be honest here 'cause I can't really lie, that is pretty freaking bad*ss," I laughed when it tried to lick me. "Holy sh*t, dude!" I laughed, still grinning at the hand mouths. "Oh my freaking gosh, I want one of these. This is, like, the coolest thing ever, right next to my bass," I stared at the hand.

"You aren't... freaked out, un?" he said.

"Why? Should I be? I mean, I'd scream or something, if you wanted, but I'd be faking it," I said.

"Okay... you're weird, un," he said.

"No dip, you mean you just noticed?" I said, looking up from his hand mouth.

"Uh, maybe, un?" he said, looking confuzzled.

"Hm," I said. "You know, you're kinda cute. Adorable speech impediment, by the way," I leaned on the table, looking him in the non-scoped eye. He blushed a bit, that adorable bomber. "Anyhow, now that I got ya talkin', what's your name?" I asked, starting simple.

"Deidara, un," he said simply.

"Like I said, flipping adorable," I smiled. "I'm a pretty bad interrogator, actually," I said, pulling a list of prepared questions out of my pocket.

"Uh... where are you from, Dei?" I asked.

"Iwagakure," he said.

I blinked, pretending to be confused. "What?"

"Iwagakure, you know, Village Hidden in the Rocks?" he pressed.

"... Is that some unknown country in, like, Europe or something? 'Cause, like, no offense, but Iwagakane-"

"Iwagakure,"

"Whatever, anyways, it's a weird name. And you know Europe. They've got a country named Azerbaijan over there," I said, playing dumb. It wasn't _technically _lying.

He blinked. "What the hell is an Azerbaijan?"

"I know, right?" I said. "I mean, I'm pretty good at geography, but do you know how hard it is learning how to spell that?" I laughed.

We all have different interrogation techniques. Mine is plain and simple- make friends with the guy. Friends don't lie to each other. Besides, I got to play with his hand mouths. Cross that one off the bucket list.

**Ellie's P.O.V.**

I skipped into Konan's room, pigtails bouncing. I already took off my helmet, and I didn't bother with the torture stuff. I had my bears, and they were the only things I needed.

"Hello! I'm the Interrogator 'round here," I sat in a chair across from her, my bears standing behind me. I had Minor in my lap, though, and he was being adorable. "You can only call me 'Interrogator', though, unless I give you my real name."

Konan just sat back like a lady. Minor tried to get on the table. I knew all about Konan. I watched all the episodes as soon as they came out, so I knew about her back story.

"Um... Well, this is Malice," I pointed to my big, cuddly, battle scarred bear, "this one is Major," I pointer at mama bear. "and this is Minor." I helped him onto the table. "Minor's nickname is Chibi, so you can call him that, too," I told her.

I saw her eyes barely widen at the mention of Chibi, which was, if you don't know, the name of Nagato's old dog during the Shinobi War.

"Hello, Chibi," I heard her whisper, reaching out a hand for Minor to sniff. How cute.

"So, I'm going to have to say some boring, official stuff before we can begin, okie dokie?" I asked. She didn't reply.

"'I, as a member of the unofficially named Lost Souls, have a responsibility to be completely honest with you, as is the code of our organization. I am to ask one question at a time, and you are not obliged to answer any of my questions, though it would be preferred if you did. When you answer a question, you are permitted to ask one of your own, to which I can either answer honestly or not answer at all. Once more, our strict moral policy prevents us from lying, so it's your choice whether or not to take my word as a member of the Lost Souls. If we find a contradiction in you testimony, we will discard and disregard any and all information given to us by you.'" I said, verbatim from the Unofficial Lost Souls' Handbook/ Guide. I'm awesome at memorizing stuff, I know.

"So, now we can get started," I smiled and clapped me hands. "What's your name, pretty lady?" I asked, looking my usual innocent self.

"No comment," she said simply.

"Ooh, you're one tough cookie," I sighed. "You're all wearing matching cloaks, most likely because you're all in an organization, like ours. What's the name of it?" I asked.

"We're the Akatsuki," she said.

"Day break," I said. "Nice name. Not as cool as ours, though," I puffed out my chest proudly.

"I'm allowed a question, right?" she asked.

"Yup," I said easily.

"What is the purpose of this organization of your's?" she asked.

"Hm..." I thought for a bit. "Well, our goal as of now is to become silently known. Like, all the leaders of the major countries, America and the UK and China and stuff, will whisper our names in a silent conference, silently fear us, but not publicly announce us to the world as an instant threat. We don't want to become crazy terrorists, mad with power and killing innocents and stuff," I answered. "But our main goal is to be known as one of the good guys. The kind that'll save people, help create a utopia, unite the world, all of that jazz. But we have to go slowly and steadily. Too strong, too fast and the world will fear us, but at a slow, predictable rate, they'll accept us."

"Ah."

"My turn! What's your name? And, yes, I will continue to ask you this until you tell me," I said.

"... I'm Konan."

**f**

I'm a confusing person. I have a confusing personality.

There are many sides to me, about four, I think.

I'm formal and ruthless when my organization is threatened.

I'm deadly and uncontrollable when fighting.

I have a soft side when it comes to my friends, Angel, and cute things.

And, when around intelligent company, I am cold and calculating. I think more logically. I gain a different persona, one that I use on serious missions.

When I assigned my members, I made sure that I only assigned them to the people who would give us information. Not Tobitodara (Tobi/Obito/Madara), for obvious reasons, Pein was impossible to read unless you were Konan, Zetsu would just feed us lies, and Sasori... I just never liked Sasori. And plus, we don't have enough members to interrogate him since I _refuse _to let Kaze or Angel anywhere _near _an interrogation room until either of them decide to take the test that allows you to question prisoners. Only Ellie can manage answers out of two people quickly enough, so that pushes everybody else out of the question.

I brought a stuffed, green dinosaur and set it on a chair, just outside of Itachi's door so that when he walks out, he'll see it. Why a green dinosaur? Because it's scarily similar to Sasuke's when he was a child. Yeah, I'm a bit of a Narutard, and I thought it'd be fun to torment the Uchiha.

I walked into the room and brought two paper cups of water, Aurum trailing after me. I set the wateron the table in front of him and sat in the chair across from his, and my lion sat on the floor to the right of me.

I crossed my arms and stared at him, meeting his eyes and noticing he didn't have his Sharingan on. They probably don't have chakra in this world... yeah, that's probably why they haven't killed us yet.

We had a silent stare off. He stared. I stared. He stared. I stared. He stared. I stared. He blinked. Booyah. I smirked at him.

"Hello, I am Leader. But, since you aren't one of my members, you can call me by my former position- Spy.

"Now, to get the traditional formalities out of the way, 'I, as a member of the unofficially named Lost Souls, have a responsibility to be completely honest with you, as is the code of our organization. I am to ask one question at a time, and you are not obliged to answer any of my questions, though it would be preferred if you did. When you answer a question, you are permitted to ask one of your own, to which I can either answer honestly or not answer at all. Once more, our strict moral policy prevents us from lying, so it's your choice whether or not to take my word as a member of the Lost Souls. If we find a contradiction in you testimony, we will discard and disregard any and all information given to us by you.' Are we clear on that?" I asked.

And, as expected, he used his usual, tactful reply of , "Hn."

I fought the urge to sigh, and I instead put my elbows on the table and rested my head on my hands. "So, what's your name, Mr. Dark and Brooding?" I asked.

"Itachi Uchiha," was his simple reply. Wow. I actually didn't expect him to answer that.

"Weasel Fan," I translated. "Interesting name, Uchiha_-san,_" I used Japanese honorifics.

"Where are we?" he grunted, slightly wary of my lion.

"Hm... Well, we are in my base," I answered smugly. He shot me the ever-so-famous hostile Uchiha glare. "Fine, fine. We're in a small town next to a city, Hampton. Hampton is located in Virginia, in the US of A, in North America, in between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, on planet Earth, in the solar system, in the Milky Way Galaxy," I told him.

"... Where?" he asked.

I would have face palmed had I not known he was from another world. "You know, Hampton, Virginia? Fairly close to Yorktown, Virginia?"

He stared at me blankly.

"Oh, _come on_. You have _got _to at least have heard of Yorktown. As in, the Battle of Yorktown? The Revolutionary War? General George Washington? Nothing?" I asked, pretending to be exasperated.

"... Hn."

If I could've, I would have sweatdropped.

"Hm... Uchiha-_san_, I would ask you the ages of all the members in your group, but then you probably don't really know, nor do you care," I could've swore the stoic weasel cracked a dry smile. "so I'll just settle for your age. How old are you, Uchiha-_san_?"

"Twenty," Itachi said. So... this means we are at the end of the time skip, seeing as Itachi dies at... twenty-one? Give or take? And Sasori isn't dead yet, either. I mulled it over in my head.

"What is your goal?" Itachi asked.

"To not die," I said, easily brushing him off.

"I meant as a group, not as an individual," he corrected.

"Well, if you changed your already answered question to get a different answer, that would be technically asking two questions, no?" I said, trying to keep the smugness out of my voice.

"Hn," Hot damn, I needed to get this guy a dictionary.

"Okay, Uchiha-_san_, I have quite the philosophical question for you, so be ready to think. What do you believe happens when you die?" I asked, leaning forwards a bit in anticipation.

"... How is this of relevance?" he asked.

"Relevance to what, exactly? We aren't exactly having an ongoing conversation here," I said.

"How is that question of importance to you?" he reiterated.

I thought before I answered. "I like how you said that, Uchiha-_san_. So I'll answer that question as honestly as I can," I leaned back a bit. "I asked you to test your mindset. To see how you, who appears to be one of the smarter, more trusted of your group, thinks. I would assume your leader, whoever that may be, would ask your opinion on things, or at least tell you more about the grand scheme of things. So I'm asking you to see how you think, to test how the others in your group think, and how your organization as a whole would react in certain situations. I could've always asked you the meaning of life question, but I don't believe there is any. So I asked you the next best thing: the meaning of death," I said, hoping he was happy with the answer I gave him.

Itachi raised an eyebrow, but otherwise did not react.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"So many questions in a row, Uchiha-_san_. I'm beginning to think you're trying to turn the tables on me and interrogate _me _instead. But, ah, well. I quite enjoy this conversation, as well as sharing my thoughts. So I'll answer," I spoke formally. Albert Einstein's IQ was estimated to be one hundred and sixty. My IQ was one hundred and sixty-five. It's safe to say I enjoy smarter company, and even if Itachi was a complete idiot at times, he was a nice, even match for my intelligence. My entire mindset changes when I encounter a challenge- another of my weird quirks.

"I think... when somebody dies, their heart stops beating. They stop breathing. Their bodily functions shut down very quickly, yet one by one. Then, I believe, their soul splinters off. Sometimes it finds something to nest in, sometimes not. When my best friend died," I started, choosing my next words carefully. "I found Aurum as a cub, and I believe a piece of my friend's personality is in there. That's why Aurum is like my over protective brother, just like my... friend was," I said. Aurum nudged my hand with his nose, a bit anxious after hearing his name so many times, but not getting any attention. I pet his head a couple of times and put my focus back onto the Uchiha. "And you?"

"I agree to the first part. When somebody dies. Their heart stops. Their breathing stops. They stop," he said.

"And then?" I pressed.

"And then they either succeed or they don't," he finished quickly. I "hm"'d and decided not to push it. I got the Uchiha to say something more than two syllables; I achieved something most people don't.

I left the room, content with the answers given and received.

**Ellie's P.O.V.**

"Hello!" I said, closing the door to Kisame's room behind me. "I'm the Interrogator, and that is the only name I will be giving you. 'Kay?" I easily slid into my seat, holding Minor in my lap. Major and Malice sort of just stood behind me and looked intimidating.

"Sadly, I have to do all the official boring stuff first, so just bear with me," I said. _Haha... bear puns._ I thought. I cleared my throat before reciting, "'I, as a member of the unofficially named Lost Souls, have a responsibility to be completely honest with you, as is the code of our organization. I am to ask one question at a time, and you are not obliged to answer any of my questions, though it would be preferred if you did. When you answer a question, you are permitted to ask one of your own, to which I can either answer honestly or not answer at all. Once more, our strict moral policy prevents us from lying, so it's your choice whether or not to take my word as a member of the Lost Souls. If we find a contradiction in you testimony, we will discard and disregard any and all information given to us by you.' You got all that?" I asked, a bit interested in how this interrogation would go. Kisame is obsessed with being honest, just like Echo, but he's also loyal to the Akatsuki to the point of killing himself to avoid spilling secrets.

"Unfortunately Leader doesn't want to kill or torture any of you, though I'm pretty sure Artemis wants to take DNA samples, 'cause she's overfunded like that," I said."First question! What's your name?" I asked.

"Kisame Hoshigaki," he said, probably thinking his name wasn't important enough to be considered a secret.

"Nice name, 'Same-_kun_!" I smiled at him and swung my short legs under the table. I was still too short for my feet to reach the ground TT^TT.

"What's the purpose do those titles you guys have?" he asked, getting straight to the point.

"Hm... confidential information. If we trust you enough we'll explain everything, but right now? You guys just broke into our base, managed to sneak past security, and we suspect you found out some information for yourselves when you were cats. So, no trust for you," I said, brushing my long, piink hair over my shoulder.

"Alright, then, kiddo," he said, sending me a shark-like grin. "How come girlie is the head honcho?" he was referring to Echo.

I thought for a bit. "Well, she was co-founder of this organization, and she's pretty kick-butt. You saw her take down that potty-mouthed albino. But just because she's strong doesn't mean she's the strongest, so don't assume she's the best we've got to offer. She says she's Leader because she's willing to put up with all the paperwork we get."

He chuckled and grinned. I think he just likes showing off those sharp Kirigakure teeth.

Malice took his wide grin as a challenge, that silly bear, and growled, showing off his own set of pearly whites. Kisame looked at least a bit intimidated by this, and his grin faltered a bit. He hid it quite well, actually, but I've been interrogating for years, so nothing facial expression-wise gets past me.

Malice noticed his change as well and snorted in triumph. He looked at me and grinned his bear grin, so I rubbed his fluffy head behind the ears and cooed, "Oh, your just a big sweetheart, Malice, yes you are."

Kisame looked so confused.

The interrogation went fairly well, but in the end, all I managed to get was that he can sniff out lies like a dog and he had no idea how they got here, like there's a gap in his memory. I didn't give anything else away, so when the questioning was done, I just left with my bears. Malice chuffed at him as we walked off. I think Malice has taken a liking to our fishy friend.

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Artemis just sort of held up several syringes while Hidan cowered against the wall. Nothing productive happened.

Apollo just complained with Kakuzu that they weren't getting paid enough to do this.

… Laziness, thy name is author.

(**Jerk. I have a dance thing to get to, and you know it! You're me!**)

Tsk, tsk. Still not a good excuse.

(**Whatever.**)

**A/N: Fun facts! I enjoyed torturing Hidan last chapter 'cause I got the Asuma feels. And Charlie Foxtrot stands for C.F.- cluster f*ck. I also really had to go to a dance gig. We were thirty minutes late, and we had no prep time, so my friends and fellow dancers were relay racing to do my make up and hair, then they threw me in a changing tent and got me in uniform in only, like, twenty seconds. They managed to make me pretty in six minutes flat. Thank you, Dani, Kay, and Tessa!**

**Thank you all for reading! Please review! I enjoy favorites and follows, but reviews keep me going, and therefor keep this story on its feet!**


	8. Chapter 8: Freedom to the People!

**A/N: Hello, my beautiful... I dunno. What should I call my readers? Uh... My baby ducklings! Yes, that sounds about right. Take two! Hello, my beautiful baby ducklings! I'm loving the feedback, 'specially on Quotev. Did I mention I also have this story on Quotev? 'Cause I do. So don't sue me if you find this story on Quotev under Echo Song, 'kay?**

**Oh, and no aniki to help proof-read for me, so sorry for any and all speeling grammer mistakes and. If you find any, feel free to point it out! I'll love you for it!**

**Just in case I haven't said it before, I don't own Naruto! That is Masashi Kishimoto's gig. I can't draw worth crap, so every one of my very sexy Akatsuki members would be butt ugly if I owned Naruto. I also do not own any songs or references I make.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight:**

**Freedom to the People! (Or Rather, Ninja)**

**3****rd**** Person (Akatsuki) P.O.V.**

It would suffice to say Tobito was upset. Pissed off would be a much more vulgar, albeit accurate description. As soon as they had escaped their kitty prisons, they were thrown into interrogation cells by their surprisingly violent accidental captors. Out of the frying pan, into the active volcano.

After a few of them had been interrogated (Tobito was confused as to why only a few), they were then put into separate, sound proof prison cells until the Lost Souls had decided what to do with them. Because of the separate cells, they couldn't even discuss with each other their means of escaping. That did not mean Tobito didn't plot, it just meant he couldn't communicate his ideas with the rest of the Akatsuki. He also had to do this while keeping up his Tobi persona, since the probability of them having hidden cameras was an obvious 10/10.

Most of the Akatsuki were being driven mad with boredom.

Hidan was banging his head against the wall and holding his still open chest wound, cussing at the loss of his partner, who would usually fix him.

Konan was playing with a spare piece of paper she had found, folding it and refolding it into different shapes.

Itachi was working over puzzles in his mind.

Pein was steaming quietly, trying to see if he still had any chakra. Which he didn't.

Zetsu was (were) arguing with himself (themselves), though he (they) was (were) secretly happy that he (they) was (were) the only one(s) with a roommate.

Kakuzu was sitting in a corner of his cell.

Kisame was wishing he had his Samehada, if not to swing, then at least to polish.

Deidara was taking a nap.

Sasori was just sitting, not really doing much. He was still a puppet, so sleeping the boredom away like Deidara was out of the question.

Meanwhile, the Lost Souls were all freaking out and pacing around their Leader's office, either fangirling or having panic attacks.

**Echo's P.O.V.**

After shutting the Akatsuki into prison cells, I called everybody, minus Angel, who I would not give any information for her own protection other than to stay away from "Tobi", to my office.

We were all still in uniform.

I asked Blare to close the door.

My members all lined up, shoulder to shoulder.

I walked along the line, looking at their quivering lips and twitching eyes.

"Members of the unofficially named Lost Souls," I commanded attention to myself. "I, as your leader... give you full permission to freak the f*ck out, because I have absolutely no freaking idea as to how to react in situations like this."

And we freaked. Some of us screamed like fangirls, some of us in terror. Apollo and Artemis, the silent ones, just curled up into the fatal position against the wall. Kaze ran in circles around my desk, letting out a not-very-manly scream. Blare and Ellie were jumping up and down like they had just won free VIP tickets to see the Beatles play for the last time. I just sat in my chair, knees tucked to my chin in a not-very-lady-like position, almost crying when I realized we'd need more money to feed and clothe the extra ten people living here. My entire vacation, gone to waste... all that paperwork I'd have to do now... all the missions I'd have to find to get more money, all the whining Kaze will undoubtedly do when I tell him his vacation is cut in half...

"Hey, boss?" Blare asked me, taking a break from her fangirling.

"Yes?" I managed to shout back to her over the ruckus.

"Was letting them flip really a good idea?" she shouted back.

"Freaking out is a good way to relieve stress," I told her. "But no, in hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea. But let them go crazy for a while. This should help you get used to the chaos in the future, us living with shinobi from another world and all."

After two hours of going crazy, we calmed down.

"So," I sighed, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Now that we got _that _out of our systems, we must discuss what we will do with the... Akatsuki."

The Souls were all lined up again, looking much more relaxed. That was good.

"I propose we each choose one or more members, minus Tobi and Hidan, those two will be released last, and give them freedom. That way, when we trust them enough, they can hopefully run missions for us, seeing as we can't support them forever without hacking the lotto again, and that's something I want to avoid. Too much suspicion. Of course, however, you will be responsible for the person or people you choose, and will keep them in line. You cannot, under any circumstances, leave your guys unattended. You will share a room with this person, eat next to this person, and slowly teach this person about our world. You are responsible, (somewhat) mature young adults, so you should be able to handle this. You will also get extra spending money to provide for this person or people. When the Second and I," I looked to Blare. "-decide that your buddies are mature enough to go without supervision, you will no longer be forced to deal with them. Are we clear so far?" I asked. They nodded with the standard "Hai!"

"Just as a reminder, do not forget: _NO SPOILERS. _Some of you guys haven't seen all of Naruto, or Naruto at all, really, so I'll find a way to catch us all up on that. Okay, let's move!"

* * *

We all took down the sound-proof barriers in the holding cells, one by one. We aren't stupid enough to install a button that automatically releases the lock on all the cages, like in the movies or whatever, so we just did that manually.

We stood in a straight line, chins up, shoulders back. Ellie, Kaze, Artemis, Apollo, Blare, then me.

"Alright, maggots," I commanded attention, allowing myself to be Anko for a few minutes. "We have decided to liberate a few of you, under these conditions: You will listen to whoever is responsible for you, and will abide by their set of individual rules. You will not harm anybody in the Lost Souls, nor will you damage our property. You break it, you buy it. And since I suspect you have none of our currency, you will be indebted to us." Kakuzu glared at his fellow members, as if daring them to even try to make him lose money. "You will not leave the room without whoever is responsible for you. Do not cuss in front of Angel," I said, sending a particularly nasty glare towards Hidan. "And respect our privacy. Are we clear on that?" I finished.

They were reluctant to nod, but they did. Good for them.

"Okay, Interrogator, you choose first," I nodded to her. Her reaction was immediate-

"'Same-kun and Konan!" she cheered, grabbing their hands and dragging them out of their prisons. Typical Ellie.

"Scout?" I looked at him.

"Um, who isn't going to be too much of a responsibility?" he asked me.

"Just take the black and white plant-man," I said, careful not to say his name since I wasn't supposed to know it.

"Oh, used-to-be Audrey?" he said.

"Yes."

"Okie-dokie!" he freed the cannibal.

"Alright, Medic?"

"I'll take the red head," she said easily, opening Sasori's cell. I had informed her beforehand that he was a poisons master, and she had taken an interest in him.

"Techie." Apollo wordlessly opened Pein's door and led him out. I could tell Pein was PO'd at being told what to do- and having to actually do it.

"Pyro."

"Hai, Leader," Blare said, considering it for a minute and picking Deidara. I was surprised nobody chose Itachi or Kakuzu yet. Oh, well. Their loss.

"I'll take these two," I said, grabbing them. Kakuzu and Itachi followed me out. "The remaining two need to stay here for the time being. They will be fed, and maybe placed in some better accommodations after a while," I said, looking to Pein. He shared a look with Tobito, and Hidan cussed loudly in his cell.

"What the f*ck? Why can't you f*cking release me, b*tch? I've had enough of your sh*t! Let me the f*ck out, you f*cking-"

"Choose your next words wisely, maggot," I said, deadly serious. I held my hand threateningly over my belt where my gun along with its wonderful button was. "In fact, for those insults, I'm going to leave the sound barriers down. Have fun talking to your friend." I said, leaving and leading my two captives- I mean, "guests" away.

"Yay! Now we can talk, senpai! We can talk about rainbows, and-"

"W-wait! You can't be f*cking serious, bit- I mean, lady! Why are you f*cking leaving me with this f*cking retard? Wait!" I shut the door on him.

"Pyro, would you and Interrogator mind fixing up a more comfortable space for the two? And while you're at it, might as well train the loud one not to cuss and the childish one to shut up. It's getting on my nerves," I said.

Blare and Ellie nodded. "'Kay!" Kisame, Deidara, and Konan followed them like puppies.

"Why did you leave those two in the cells, but free us?" I heard Konan ask.

"Oh, that's just Leader's way of saying she doesn't want to deal with the idiots and she's pissed off 'cause with you guys here, she has to calculate how much it's gonna cost for more than twice the amount of food and new clothes," Ellie responded easily, skipping away to find things to redecorate a couple of cells.

My lips twitched in amusement. She knew me so well. I fought the urge to smile once more. There were _prisoners _in the base, I could _not _show my soft side until they left. Except, you know, maybe to Angel. My personality completely flip-flopped with strangers in the base. I mean, I knew them, but I didn't know _them_. I knew the characters on the screen, knew their pasts and futures, but I did not know the people in front of me. It's like seeing an old friend who's changed over the years. You know where they've been, where they're going, but not necessarily _them_.

I shook off the thoughts and went to my office to get the newbies in my care some basic books to read.

The other members went off to do whatever, and I sat in my swivel chair, choosing not to spin around in it. I grabbed a few books about society and government from under my desk, then gave the giant textbooks to Itachi and Kakuzu.

"Have some books. Read," I simply ordered, clicking my pen and unlocking my desk drawer to get some paper and a calculator.

The stoic Uchiha stood in front of my desk and opened the first textbook, flipping through it before saying, "I can't read it."

I looked up from the papers. "What was that?"

"This is either in code or another language. I can't read it," he said slowly.

I blinked at him. "Are you serious? It's all written in English," I said, putting my pen down.

"English," he said slowly as if trying it out.

"Yeah, English. As in, the language you are speaking right now?" I stared at him dubiously.

"What? We speak Japanese, Spy-san," Kakuzu said. I stared at them before coming to a conclusion- they were either unconsciously speaking English, like an English/Japanese combination or something, but they only _read _in Japanese... or they have gone bonkers. Or _I_ have gone bonkers. Either or.

I slowly leaned over, not taking my eyes off of the (significantly taller than me) pair of men before pressing a button on my desk and speaking into the mic. "Scout, do you mind getting a few Japanese books, as well as a couple of Japanese to English dictionary?" Kaze was the only one of us who spoke fluent Japanese. Blare and I can speak it in a pinch, but not as well as he.

A few minutes later and Kaze opened the door of my office. "Ever heard of knocking, Scout?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Uh... haha, funny story about that one," he laughed awkwardly, rubbing his hand on the black of his head.

Zetsu tried to follow after him. Key word, _tried_. His Venus Flytrap thing on his head got stuck on the door and Kaze had to help him.

"Just, um, bend over, like- yeah, like that. Now walk straight and turn right here, and, aw, screw it. Can you just ditch the plant thing?" he asked.

"Sure. **Why would we want to? **Oh, hush. You and I both know we don't like getting caught on doors. **Fine.**"

I pretended to give a questioning look to Kaze and he smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yeah. He does that." Good little actor.

I sighed, though I was secretly giggling at him. Like a girl. Gross. "Anyways, do you have the books?"

"Yup!" he said proudly, showing off a stack of books under his arm. "I didn't know what you meant by 'a few Japanese books', so I just grabbed a children's book and a textbook about technology I found somewhere. I honestly don't even know why I have it, I found it in the way back of the shelf. I also have, like, three dictionaries. Is that good?"

"Yes. Very well done, Scout. Would you mind staying here and helping me figure out what they know or don't know? It seems they speak English, but only read Japanese," I picked up my pen again.

"Okay!" he said. I looked all the way up, then all the way down, then up again. Kaze caught my signal- one that meant "I'll tell you soon."

"Alrighty, peeps! Just... read this one, okay?" Kaze opened up the technology book to Zetsu, Itachi, and Kakuzu.

He looked at me expectantly and I raised my right hand in a fist, the same sign language letter "s", and twisted my wrist back and forth. It was an old signal that Blare had made during one mission, known as "Are they stupid, or just pretending to be stupid?".

Kaze snickered, and I quickly went back to my work just as Itachi looked over to me. He raised a questioning eyebrow, and I did, too. Itachi shook his head and went back to reading about the world's first computers.

* * *

I finished up calculating the general amount of how much money we would need to support these guys, and sagged. I would also need to add in the fact that these were hungry ninjas, which would mean even more than the original amount I had written down, which was already a grand-spanking total.

Kakuzu noticed my slump of the shoulders and sighed. "What is it, brat?"

I looked at him. "Taking care of you guys is expensive. This throws out my plan of not doing any paper work, and plus everybody's been nagging me about a Christmas budget, so we'll need to cut Apollo's monthly budget, and he won't be happy about that. Then he'll do something to somebody, most likely Kaze-"

"Hey!"

"-just out of spite, and chaos will ensue. Why do you people have to cost so much?" I face planted onto the desk.

"Now you know how I feel," Kakuzu sympathized with me. Just barely, but I know he did.

Itachi just "hn"'d, and Kaze yawned.

"Scout," I said, obviously tired out from ninjas and numbers. "Be a dear and cook for us tomorrow."

"But I don't wanna!" he whined.

"We need food for seventeen people, Kaze. Do you think your not up for the challenge?" I taunted, looking up from my desk.

He frowned. Now, a bit more on our cooking skills- I'm an okay chef. I tend to go over-the-top, though, but nobody ever complained. Blare is okay, too, though most of what she makes is fried or grilled- bacon, french fries, steak, ribs, all of that. Artemis is one of the best chefs in the base, always precise with her measurements. Apollo... well, he sucks, to put it bluntly. He expects every cooking supply to be exact, but he doesn't get that with cooking you have to be flexible. Kaze is, hands down, the master chef. He can make desserts, breakfast foods, and last-minute feasts like nobody's business. He lacks patience, though, so cooking for only seven people? Not enough rush for him. Seventeen people? He'd be cooking entree after entree, nonstop. Constant motion is Kaze's forte. So, yes. He'd be willing to do it.

"Dare me," he challenged, coming around to stand in front of my desk and leaning over, his hands keeping him upright against the polished mahogany.

"Okay, how about we up it a bit. If you can manage cooking until these guys leave, I'll get Apollo to make you one invention of your choosing," I said, getting up in his face. I hated having to pull up the trump card. I got some blackmail on Apollo last year, and I still haven't let it go. I use it to make him build stuff, like dolls that can actually dance for Angel, or fancy swords for me to hang in my art room.

"Two inventions," he said.

"Deal," I agreed, sticking out my hand. He grabbed it and we shook.

"I'll make the best dinner you ever had," he got up and opened the door. "_I hope you like dango_," he finished, managing to look surprisingly bad*ss while closing thee door behind him.

He then had to re-open the door to let Zetsu follow him.

I squared my papers and put them in a file. "That boy," I muttered, shaking my head. Itachi and Kakuzu just stared on.

I checked the time. It was a little past midnight. I sighed. "Damn," I muttered, getting up from my seat and stretching.

"Follow me," I told the Akatsuki. I was secretly happy that the Lost Souls had broken up the usual pairs, even if it was on accident. The Akatsuki lacked flexibility. Sure, they worked well with their usual partner, but with someone else? Not too snazzy.

I went to Angel's room. It was a light periwinkle, and the shelves were filled with a few dolls, some plastic tea party toys, and the odd book, but they were mostly composed of stuffed animals.

"Stay in the doorway, and don't try to leave or I will send my lions after you," I said easily as I went into Angel's room, closing the door part way but leaving it open enough for me to make sure they don't run off.

She was laying on her stomach with a book and her rats, fighting to stay awake. I scooped her up onto my lap and a few rats woke up and scampered to lie on top of Angel's orange pj's.

"Hi Mama," she yawned.

"Hey, sleepy head," I said, letting myself be affectionate. The Akatsuki pair would most likely be looking around the halls, trying to memorize the layout of the confusing base, anyway. Or at least that's what I would do.

"Read to me?" she asked, eyes pleading. I could see, though, she was holding up a yawn. Angels need their rest.

"Forgive me, princess, but maybe another time," I apologized, immediately thinking _Oh, sh*t. Sh*t, sh*t, f*ckity f*ck f*ck."Yuruse, Sasuke. Mata kondo da." _My mind, at the time, was so full of Naruto facts, I had accidentally quoted Itachi- with him standing in the door frame, staring at me. I didn't even have to turn to know he was there; I could feel his eyes burning holes in my back.

_He'd probably think it was a coincidence, though. I'm over thinking this. Calm down._ I tried to assure myself.

Without missing a beat, I lifted Angel up and tucked her in.

"I'll introduce you to everybody tomorrow, 'kay? I'll let you sleep in, too. Did Artemis give you dinner?" I asked her, crouching down by her bedside.

"Yeah, Mama. Artemis made me soup," she said, her eyes drooping for a bit before she forced them open.

I kissed her forehead. "Good night, little Angel," I whispered.

I waited until he finally closed her eyes before leaving the room, turning out the lights.

In the dark, the planets and stars on her ceiling became more prominent. I had Apollo and Artemis custom make them with me. Among the planets and constellations were us, the Lost Souls and our animal friends. Angel was an actual angel, pure white wings coming from her back while she flew around Neptune, where her rats stood, holding hands in a big circle. Apollo was reading, sitting on the main ring of Saturn while Kaze rode a jet pack and snickered immaturely at Uranus. Artemis was somewhere near Orion's belt, making sparkly concoctions with her monkeys, and Ellie played with her bears, Major, Minor, and Malice while floating around Ursa Major and Minor. Yes, we did that on purpose. Blare was whistling innocently on Mars with a bomb tucked not-so-discreetly behind her back. My lions were on Jupiter and I sat alone on Mercury, just staring at the scene and smiling. It all took half a year to build, since we only had time to do it between projects. But it was _so _worth it.

I have a spare set, actually, and I had put it on my own ceiling. They only worked if I clapped my hands, though, so it was a clap on, clap off kind of thing. Took forever to get it working, but, eh.

I stopped admiring the ceiling and left, silently shutting the door behind me.

I wordlessly led the Akatsuki couple to my room, where I took my pills and changed in the bathroom. I lay out a few surprisingly comfy yoga mats out on the floor (I couldn't be bothered to drag actual mattresses in here), dropped a pillow and a fluffy blanket on each, and collapsed onto my bed.

_So glad I got the silent pair. _I thought to myself. Kakuzu and Itachi took off their Akatsuki robes. Kakuzu fell asleep quite quickly, but it seemed as if Itachi and I didn't rest as easily.

"What makes you think we won't just kill you in your sleep or explore at night?" he asked, still laying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"If you killed one of us, we'd kill all of you. Slowly. Minus that Hidan guy, he seems like a hardcore masochist, so we'd make his death fast. You wouldn't be able to get away with anything unless you killed all of us at the same time. I didn't let you all together long enough to discuss a plan that would _work_. As for the escaping and exploring part, we have cameras in every room. We done?" I asked.

"Hn." Awesome comeback, Uchiha. Just stunning.

I lay in bed for another hour, and when I heard Itachi's breathing slow, I thought he had fallen asleep.

I stared at the blank ceiling before deciding, _Yup, I'm never going to get to sleep with two boys in my room. I mean, as long as they don't _touch _me, I'm okay, or at least I should be, so why can't I get to sleep again? _I thought.

_Meh. Might as well go to the roof and sleep there instead. _I rolled out of bed and pushed a silent button. Aurum, who was used to my late-night calls, came out from the tunnel under my bed. Yes, I have one there.

…

So what if I'm paranoid?

Aurum licked my hand and I stroked his smooth fur. "Mind watching these guys for me?" I asked. He looked at me and nudged my hand. "Cutie," I whispered as I petted his golden mane.

He lay down on my bed, not even making a sound. I smiled at him and quietly padded out of the room to the roof.

You my be thinking- "Roof? You live in a freaking _cave_, why would you have a _roof_?" Well, we don't live in a cave. We _lived _in a cave- the bear cave that we now use as our main entrance, but then we realized it was connected to a mountain. We burrowed into it and carved out what you see today. Then we realized- it wasn't _any _mountain, it was a volcano. A volcano that was entirely undisturbed by our construction. So, Apollo ran some tests, and it turned out it was a dormant volcano. Well, not entirely dormant, it was more like it was in a coma or something. It had the hole in the top, and a whole mess of lava underneath (which Apollo uses for electricity and heating), but for some reason it was inactive through the whole excavation process. It was going to blow up in five hundred years, though. Sorry for those of you living in this base five hundred years from now. We have our base _just _below the, er, pardon the awkward wording, I am no volcano expert since I pride myself on knowledge of battle, not volcanoes, the _flooring_ of the volcano. So,

sky

very tip top of the volcano

crater inside the volcano

floor of the crater inside the volcano

our base

lava

How lucky did we get with _that_, huh? Anyhow, on the floor of the crater was fertile soil. In the soil grew some grass. I dug up to it with a bit of help, and made a sort of garden. Flowers, grass, a few trees, an artificial pond, done. I refused to allow any electronics (minus the few Japanese styled-lanterns hanging from the trees and floating in the lake that seemed to never go out) in my small sanctuary.

I stepped onto the ladder and climbed up, laying down in the grass under the biggest tree and basking in the moonlight. The faintest colors of pink tinted the navy blue horizon, but the moon still sat proudly over top my roofless wonderland.

I took a few minutes to stare at the few stars. The nearby city did nothing for light pollution, so I could only see the few main constellations. And Venus. But that's about it.

After a moments' consideration, I began to sing. I hadn't sung in front of people in years, so I do it in private on occasion. Easy solution, no?

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft, green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise.

"Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you,"

I was about to continue when I heard a "Hn," I, being myself, panicked and grabbed a knife I had on me (yes, I was _bare foot_, in a pair of _pocket-less _shorts and a _pocket-less_ T-shirt, and I managed to get a knife on me. I amaze myself sometimes.) and chucked it at the offending Uchiha.

He caught it, though it cut his bangs a bit. His eyes were just barely widened in surprise.

I sighed, seeing it was just him.

"What do you want, Uchiha?" I asked him. "How did you get past Aurum? And where the hell is Kakuzu?"

"Asleep," he answered.

"Whatever," I said. In my mind though, I was freaking out. _Oh, holy crapola. Don't tell me he was listening. Please, please don't tell me he was-_

"Why don't you sing with the others?" he asked.

"Why does it concern you?" I glared at him before leaving my sanctuary. Down the latter, through the halls, back into my room. Itachi trailed after me.

I just walked into my room, not bothering to be quiet. Kakuzu was a surprisingly deep sleeper. I clapped twice and turned on the stars.

Itachi went back to his yoga mat and I curled up in my sheets.

_I won't be getting to sleep tonight._

* * *

**A/N: Haha, I added only the slightest amount of EchoxItachi fluff! I'm still not sure if I should make them a pair, or have Echo get with someone else -cough- Tobi -cough-. Still not certain on anything, though. Any thoughts on that? **

**Thank you to Update Zombie for being as fabulous as usual! And, yes, I did notice the TF2 names. I wrote the names accidentally on purpose, looked at it again, then said to myself, "Aw, what the heck. I'll keep 'em."**

**And, btw, I will be updating once I get at least one, uno, ichi **(一), **isa, un, ein** ένας **review. You want some of this? THEN TELL ME YOU WANT IT. TinyHippo out, peace**!


	9. Chapter 9: In Which Not Much Happens II

**A/N: Hey-o, my beautiful ducklings! How are you today? I made you some muffins. Want some? -hands out muffins-**

…

**Yeah, yeah, okay, fine, I'll cut to the chase. I was actually wondering if any of you know any communities I can join. And how I can do that. Yeah, I'm a n00b. So what? Everything was simpler back when I stayed on Quotev.**

**Sorry for the delay, my laptop's keyboard was kinda funky. And, once more, no bro to help. Gah, he really need to get off his *ss and help me. Or I need to stop sucking at spelling. But, alas, I'm too lazy to do the latter. Oh, and this is pretty much just filler. Nothing major happens.**

**Thank you, thank you, ****_thank you _****for all of your fabulous reviews! I love you guys! And gals. IDK, I always thought guys was applicable for both genders.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine:  
In Which Not Much Happens II**

**Blare's P.O.V. (OMG WOW IT'A NOT ECHO SURPRISE B*TCHES)**

I woke up at six, smashing my hand on my alarm clock. I rolled out of bed. And, yes, I mean _rolled_, as in I grabbed the edge of my sheets and made like a burrito until I fell off the side.

"... What the hell, un?" I heard from right next to me.

I stared into his cerulean eyes. "Oh. I almost forgot you exist." With that thought over, I struggled and flopped my way out of the burrito.

After changing out of my PJ's (pretty much just some sweat pants and a sports bra, 'cause I'm lazy like that) and back into navy blue skinny jeans, an Of Mice and Men T-shirt, and some red converse, I freshened up and stepped out of the bathroom.

"So... Deidara... wanna go torment Hidan?"

"Hell yeah, hm!" he cheered. I noticed he had brushed his hair out while I was in he bathroom. How is his hair always so silky soft? I want hair like that! .

And we were off. I led the way, easily navigating through the confusing halls of the base. I may or may not have taken a couple of wrong turns, but Echo told me that even she got lost sometimes. All you have to do is keep walking forward and pretending that you know what you're doing, and eventually you'll get to where you want to go. It was probably a bad strategy, but it worked well enough.

I entered the Prison Hall. After going through the DNA scanners and voice activation thing-a-ma-bobber, I had Deidara entered as a guest. Now he could enter without getting gassed and thrown in a cell, but he could only enter this one time unless he gets me, the Second, or Boss' clearance.

Ellie and I had taken the (rather enjoyable) liberty of decorating the two rooms. One of them was quickly and sloppily painted pink (it was all washable, so chill) and covered in unicorn posters, white, fluffy cloud pillows, and pink and rainbow rugs that covered the floor. Surprisingly enough, I was the one who did up that room.

Ellie got the other one. It was left with plain, concrete walls with a few medieval chains hanging from the ceiling. A fake-but-realistic skeleton was shackled in some of them. A couple of (broken, non-usable, out-of-order) torture devices lay in the corners, and some heavy metal posters (courtesy of moi) were stuck willy-nilly on the walls. A sheet-less, deflated mattress sat in the middle of the room. It was all dark, and Els somehow managed to get all of the lights in that area out other than a flickering fluorescent light bulb on a string. That girl seriously scares me.

And I bet you can guess which captives got which room.

That's right, we stuck the innocent -cough- lies -cough- little man-child in the scary room, and the sadistic, gore-loving Jashinist in the cutesy one.

I love my job.

Ellie was sitting on a bench at the end of the hall, smiling happily and swinging her uber-short legs over the side. It was almost surprising- Ellie looked nothing like a fifteen year old who just pulled an all-nighter watching over two psychotic murderers. I noticed the shark-man was sitting on the other side of the bench, seemingly asleep while Konan was talking pleasantly with Ellie.

"Hiya, Blare!" she smiled up at me.

"Hey, Els. Wanna swap?" I offered.

"Sure! I'm going to pass out in a few minutes, anyway, so wake me up for breakfast," she grinned energetically, not even remotely like she was going to pass out. But she still hadn't dropped the smile, so she was either extremely happy or extremely tired. Probably the latter. She passed me a small remote with only one button.

Ellie tugged Kisame awake and held Konan's hand as she skipped away to her room.

Oh.

She was going to bring those two to her room.

I felt so sorry for them.

They'll pee themselves.

-cough cough- Anyhow.

I sat on the bench and tossed the button up and down before noticing a small string on the back. I tied it around my neck and Deidara took a seat next to me.

"So..." he started, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"So..." I said, looking at him with a smirk. "Wanna play?" I pulled a deck of cards out of my back pocket. We played double solitaire and poker for almost an hour before the annoying duo woke up in their cells.

"What the f*ck?" was Hidan's quick response. I sighed and pressed the button.

"Good morning, Senpai!" Tobi cheered. "Good morning Hidan and pretty lady!"

"'Sup, Tobster?" I casually raised an arm in greeting. I carefully placed my cards in front of me, grinning. "Royal flush. Wanna play again?"

"What? I swear you're cheating, un!" he frowned as he slammed down his sad two-of-a-kind hand.

"Ha, you just got beat by a pansy *ss f*cking b*tch!" Hidan chortled. I pressed the button again. "What the f*ck is up with that f*cking button you keep pressing, b*tch?" he asked quite rudely.

I held up the small electronic remote between my forefinger and thumb. "This?" I asked. "Well, every time you cuss, I press this button and a clock gets reset. If you can go two and a half hours without cussing, you're free."

"What the f*ck? That's f*cking easy," he smirked. "All I gotta f*cking do is f*cking sleep for a f*cking few hours."

"Well..." I said. "There _are _a few rules. You have to be fully conscious, and you can't just be silent the whole time. And, once you're free, you can't cuss in front of Angel, or else you get sent straight back here again."

"That's pretty clever, yeah," Deidara said.

"Why, thank you. I'm not Second for nothing," I nodded appreciatively.

"What the f*ck?" I pushed the button. "That's f*cking cheating!" Boop. "You b*tch!" I think he just likes staying in his new, pink room.

"Why is Tobi here, then? Tobi doesn't cuss! Tobi is a good boy!" said Tobi. "And this room is scary!"

"Boss put you in here because you were loud and obnoxious. And I think she secretly wanted to torment Hidan," I quickly explained to him, starting up a new game of speed with Deidara.

Two hours and thousand cuss words later, the loudspeaker turned on.

"Breakfast is ready," said Boss. Why wasn't she all formal? "Scout cooked for us." Ah.

Kaze was the chef.

_Kaze _was the chef.

_Kaze was the chef!_

"Oh my Jashin, yes!" I leapt out of my seat, accidentally scattering a few cards.

"Deidara, Kaze made food! KAZE MADE FOOD!" I cheered, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down. The hand mouths licked me, but I didn't care because _Kaze made food! _

"What? That crazy guy? Why is that a good thing, un?" he asked, confused.

"You have much to learn, Kemosabe. Kaze is the master chef. He can make expired tapioca taste better than steak," I told him seriously. "Hidan, you're stuck here. Tobi, I'll let you come to breakfast because I think you're adorable," I said, freeing said masked man. It was true; I _did _think Tobi was cute. Obito, too. Madara was not cute, he was damn _sexy_.

"What the fuuuu-" he stopped himself mid word, seeing me about to push the button again. "-uuuun? What the fun. How come the retard gets to go?"

"Because you aren't as cute as Tobi," I frowned at him. "Now, lets go, go, go!" I cheered, taking Deidara and Tobi's hands and charging away, almost forgetting to lock everything down. _Almost_. I remembered. No harm, no foul.

"Wait! You still haven't fixed my chest! Waaaaiiit!" he cried, getting blood all on the rainbow rugs.

(Line break!)

I pulled the two boys into the dining room after calling Ellie and her pair of prisoners.

"Fooooooood!" I yelled, taking my seat at the table. I noticed Echo had put up some foldable chairs and flipped out the ends of the table to situate ten more people.

The table was set, and bacon, waffles, bacon, crepes, fruit, bacon, bacon, and bacon sat proudly on the table. Kaze walked in with a final plate of bacon, donning his favorite apron. It was black with white letters, reading, "Two Rules: This is my kitchen. You are all my b*tches."

I slid into my seat to the left of Echo and Dei sat next to me. Echo was at the head of the table in her work clothes, Itachi and Kakuzu sitting to the right of her. Until, that is, Echo shooed them into the seats next to those. Now there was an empty seat to her right. Apollo, Pein, Artemis, and Sasori trickled into the dining room. Artemis looked like she hadn't slept at all, but didn't really care. She was in a big-worded conversation with Saaori about poisons and the like, but Apollo was just walking with his nose in a book. Pein was silent. Ellie, Konan, and Fishy came last, taking most of the remaining seats. Angel came in last, still in her light pink night gown and rubbing her eyes cutely while Yuki, one of her rats, sat on her shoulder.

Angel climbed into the seat next to Boss and Boss ruffled her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead. As soon as Angel sat, it was like somebody shooting a gun at the start of the race. Aaaaand they're off!

The less classy of the Akatsuki, Kaze, Ellie and I almost leaped out of our seats to grab whatever food they wanted. Others sort of waited out the storm and went when the hangry (yes, hungry + angry = hangry) mob started to dissipate. Echo calmly and quickly scooped food for both herself and Angel.

As soon as we finished, Echo stood and made a surprise announcement.

"Everybody, please meet in the lounge. And Pyro, Interrogator? Please bring Hidan here. Restrain him if you need."

Ellie and I nodded and skipped away to chain up the Jashinist. After that, we dragged him down the halls like a dog.

"What the fu-udge is going on? Tell me, you bi-ill boards!" he cried. I just gave him a shock. Did I mention we gave him a shock collar? 'Cause we did.

"We're here!" Ellie called as she opened the door and dragged the bound Jashinist to the middle of the lounge where she then hog tied him with some shoe laces and promptly dropped him onto the coffee table.

"... What?" was Kakuzu's quick reply.

"The f*ck are you f*ckers lookin' at?" he hissed. I pressed the button. "Jashin f*cking dammit!" I pressed the button again.

Deidara laughed. "I didn't know you could get him to shut up so easily, un!"

"Shut up, you-" I gagged him. Well, seeing as we had tied him with my shoe laces, I just stuffed my lace-less shoe into his mouth.

It was fun.

I enjoyed it.

Thoroughly.

Like, you have not truly enjoyed yourself until you stuff dirty converse into a potty-mouthed Jashinist's face.

I mean, he was still injured, but the pain didn't affect him. He stabbed himself for fun. The worst the bullets could do was give him an infection, but that's about it.

"Mmf! Phmerfmle!" he shouted, his eyes narrowing.

"Ha! Eat trendy foot wear, you annoying buffoon!" I stuck my pointer finger in his face.

Echo stared at us for a while before clearing her throat. "And now that that is done, we can begin the meeting. Pyro, please take a seat."

"Okay, Boss," I said, flopping down on the couch.

"Anyway, we'll need to take our new captives- er, guests to get them some new clothes. I suggest we all just go to Walmart to avoid spending too much. We'll also need to buy much more food. I doubt ten more people won't cost a few bucks, so I'm afraid we'll have to cut our vacation to only a week. I'll have the shopping scheduled for tomorrow."

Kaze groaned at this, then smashed his face into the arm rest. "Gaaaahhhh, I hate manual laborrrrr," he slumped.

"And, before I forget, next week we have to do back to school shopping."

"GAAAAHHHH NO ME GUSTA."

"Also," she continued onward. "To thank Itachi and Kakuzu for providing information, I'll give you guys The Pamphlet... After Kaze translates it into Japanese."

"MANUAL LABORRRRR."

"Dismissed," Boss said, easily ignoring Kaze's pissing and moaning.

She left to sit in her arm chair rather than standing, giving me the floor. Kakuzu and Itachi followed her like puppies. Puppies that were taller than her, yes, but still puppies.

"Alrighty, people! So, Tobi and Hidan will go back to their cells until they are assigned to one of our members. Ellie and I will keep watch over them in shifts until we break their habits of being loud, cussing, and peeing on the rug."

"Mmff phml mff mmm! Mmm! _Mmm!_"

"Quiet, captive," I frowned at him as I put my shoe-d foot onto his back and rolled him off the table onto the carpet.

"Fmmf mkl phmm!" he protested. This I translated as: Oh, wow, this rug stinks.

"Well, the rug wouldn't smell so bad if you stopped peeing on it," I replied, earning a few laughs.

"Anyhow, Kaze, your first priority should be to translate it. I expect it on Boss' desk by fourteen hundred hours." This made him groan even louder and flail around until he fell off the couch, and, unfortunately, onto Hidan. Or, more specifically, his elbow landed on Hidan's crotch.

Tears sprung from Hidan's eyes, and I fell over laughing.

"Oh my Jashin, Kaze! You have no idea how much I love you right now!" I grabbed my chair and attempted to calm myself.

"Hahaha... haha... ha... Okay, okay, I'm back... pfft," I pulled myself back onto the seat. "So, Artemis, mind patching up Hidan when we're done?" I asked, noticing the small patch of blood.

"Sure," she replied boredly.

"Aaand Apollo, I need you to help Boss with paperwork, and when you're done, I need you to enter the Akatsuki's data into the computer to give them limited access to stuff and stuff. 'Kay?"

"Alright. Will do," he said, writing something down on a piece of paper and sliding it into his front pocket.

"Okay, folks, that's a wrap," I said, getting up and stretching. The others followed suit, and Echo patted my shoulder on the way out.

"Thanks, Second," she said, the faintest trace of a smile on her face. I kept my self from sighing. As soon as she had completely opened up again, the Akatsuki showed up and all the emotional progress went for naught. It was like hitting the reset button. And it stank. But the best we could do for now was to get her to open up again, little by little, just like the first time.


	10. A Rather Late PrologueThe Pamphlet

**A Rather Late Prologue/ The Pamphlet:**

**The Unofficial Lost Souls' Guide for Newbies**

* * *

**Last Updated By:**

Echo Song - Age 15

* * *

This is going to be very, very long and very, very boring. So I'll do this as quickly and painlessly as possible, okay? Now, without further ado, welcome to my world, friend. Time to kiss your sanity goodbye.

We're a relatively small group. A gang. An organization, if you will. We have no official name; less of us to track that way. But we all called ourselves the same thing: the Lost Souls. Well, it was either that or the New and Improved Merry Band of Misfits. Kind of an obvious decision.

Anyhow, down to business. If you're reading this, then congrats. You have either achieved in breaking and entering my room and lock picking my desk, or you've been specially selected to join our organization. Kudos to you for managing to do either of these things.

We, as most groups do, have a set of fixed rules. These are things even the Leader cannot disagree with, and if the Leader does, he or she must then be politely excused from his or her duties. If that does not work... Well, I'd very much rather to spare you the details.

Before we go into the rules, though, I must first explain the organization itself.

We have a goal, which also includes several smaller, sub-goals. Our main intent, though, is survival. Not for ourselves, though that is a sub-goal, but for others like us. For the small ones out on the streets, outcasts, freaks labeled by society. We take them in, train them, and, in turn, they find and help more children. A kindness hidden in the shadows of sin. Souls that have been thrown off of the path of what is considered normal- a house, parents, a dog, bicycles, friends- and found themselves in deeper than they had imagined, confused with no way back,_ that_ is what gives us, the Lost Souls, purpose. If we save the children, we save the future. We save the world. We save peace.

If we get known, we can become a greater world power and actually have some say in the world. That's another one. But we have to get known slowly, in small, careful, predictable steps. That way they'll be wary of us, but not exactly _fear_ us.

It might seem like I think highly of us, and it's true. I do believe, that, with time, we can win our battle against the world. But I do not think we are perfect. Our group has been deceived, betrayed, and battered with the unsheathed claws of reality. But we keep going. We learn from our mistakes. Because, in this world, you learn quickly that you have to be pretty damn cunning to survive. And pretty damn cunning we are.

The Lost Souls have rankings. First up is apprenticeship. You become an apprentice by, A.) Getting picked off the streets by one of us, or B.) Earning our attention. If attention is earned, we find you, greet you, and make you an offer you _can _refuse. If you refuse, though, to the rest of the world, it would seem that we never made you an offer. Meaning, we either wipe your memory, or... eliminate the threat. Memory wiping is the more common occurrence, though, so no worries for any friends you might wish to nominate.

Apprenticeship is a probationary status, and you will be constantly monitored by the Second (see: Second-in-Command). You'll be trained, taught, and conditioned. After a month, you will either be given to the other members to be bounced back and forth until you become an official member, or, if you are deemed a threat, we go back to the old "exterminate or erase" routine.

Next up to bat is membership. This happens after at least six months of apprenticeship, depending on the Leader and the Second's decision. When or if you become a member, you can finally go on missions (ex: assassinations, espionage, etc. We're pretty much a rag-tag group of orphaned bounty hunters). You also receive a title. This title will be given to you from the Leader based on the observations of the Second of your specialties. For instance, one of our first members, Kaze, got his title, Scout, based on his speed, stealth, and lock picking skills. He specializes in espionage and theft.

The other two positions aren't just up for grabs. You can only have one of each at a time. Those positions are Second in Command, and Leader. Second-in-Command, AKA Second, is fairly easy to understand. If you're Second, you're in charge when the Leader is away on missions. You also have to have been a member for a year. Not an apprentice, a _member. _Capiche? You also have to have been off the streets, not sought out. Pretty much, you have to have been practically born into the business. Same rule applies for Leader. Second also helps the Leader make decisions. Leader is pretty self explanatory. That's _my _current position. You lead. You assign missions. You do paperwork. So, so much paperwork.

And now, rules. They're fairly straight forward.

One: Honesty. No lying, unless it's a prank. And, if it is, you must admit to it afterwords. Our group is based on honesty. No lies, no secrets. No secrets, no blackmail. No blackmail, no corruption. Just the way I like it.

Two: Family. We're a family, albeit a broken one. Treat each other as such.

Three: Respect. Respect your enemies, as well as you allies. Try your hardest to be kind, generous, and thankful. You never know when a good friend is exactly what you need.

Four: Loyalty. Don't ever, _ever _sell out your comrades. What matters most is never the mission, it is your family. Protect those around you, and be strong. If not for your own sake, then for everybody else's. We are a family. Nobody gets left behind.

Nobody.

* * *

Our means of money... We have a few main ones.

The government secretly funds us. They send us sums of money for each member, plus quite a large bonus for every mission we do. We're sort of like a secret government organization, but we don't have to go around and blow up other countries or uphold the law or any of that jazzy stuff. They just give us money and turn a blind eye, and in exchange, we go around the country and kill some people. We're very specific with who we kill, though. Only rat ba-

Sorry. I'm back. Link just told me not to cuss.

Where were we? Oh, yes. Only jerks. Murderers, kidnappers, psychopaths, sociopaths, rapists, etc. And other gangs.

We're strong. We're many. We're favored by the government. 'Course people are gonna get jello. So, they make their own gangs to rival ours, just tryin' to steal the spotlight. Real idiots, those people are. So, we blow their warehouses up.

We also have jobs. Like, real, regular jobs. I don't have one yet, other than playing music for birthday parties and old people. I just go to school. We all have to go to school. Education, people. That is where the world went wrong- education.

And Link a street fights. I do, too, but that's sort of in secret. Everybody thinks I've stopped, 'cept for Els and Blare, but NOPE! It's good money, and I live for fighting. Just... the adrenaline, the noise, the victory! I'm undefeated!

* * *

I think this is most of the stuff you need to know. I'll update this next year. Link said he'll update this with me next time, so look forward to that! The rest of the important stuff is in the official handbook. Echo out, peace!


	11. REWRITE NOTICE!

**A/N:**

**Yeah, I'm going to rewrite this. Blame writer's block, as well as thee fact that I just recently read my story over, and frankly... it sucks. I'm not happy with it. Expect a rewrite up by November 21. Why that specific date? 'Cause I'm sure everybody here is just as excited as I am about the Sapphire/Ruby remake! Whoooop!**

**I'll post a thing-a-mah-bobber right here when the rewrite goes up. **

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**Until then, toodle-oo, my faithful companions!**


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